Hagrid's yummy poo

Part 8

I stripped in front of snape and he slapped my green pp and he got an std on his hand tehe. then hagrid removed his ding dong and replaced it with a shrimp. serves him right for slapping my million dollar puthay. i had transfiguration with mcgonagoll and she said my puthay smelt lovely and fishy, i was flattered so i gave her an std. it was great.

OWA OWA! i was a celebity. yes celebity and NOT celebrity you thickheads. it IS spelt celebity. like haggy said. his beard was full of poop since he shoved his entire head up my butthole. it was stuck there for 3 days, it was fun. i got explosive diarrhea and hagrid caught all of the poopoo in his mouth. he so talented and seggsy. i have the hawttest husband byatch. i know ur jealous of me and my std's.

in herbology, I taught hermione how to get an std, so then she did the nasty with crabbe and she got one. yayayayya she so happy. then we started twerking like the bad biddies we are. yes tehe. herbology was boring so i shot everyone with my toxic poo gun. it didn't kill them they just got sick. it was a waste of my smelly poo.

hagrid gave me a necklace with poo inside the bottle thing and it was lovely. i love hagrids yummy poo.

Wassup ya'll it's niki minaj. JOKING it's thicc booty niki. im wya hotter than the other niki. she doesn't even have an std so im way better than that non stinky loser. tehe. fred and george said they wanted to go to paris with me. oui oui. hagrid told them off cuz im his wife and having a threesome is a nono. they said we could do eiffel tower position tehehehehe. but hagrid said no. 

my puthay wa rlly hairy so i chopped it and gave it to hagrid as his bday present. he was os happy.

'yo mamacita, wanna ride buckbeak' he said shoving poo in his pocket.

'sure thing haggy, as long as he has an std' i replied with my fishy puthay. we rode buckbeak for like ages then when we came back, aragog was ded. it was rlly sad so we had funeral for him. poor ded giant spider. aragog was a good spider. harry was there but he was high on liquid luck gawsh damn. then that bitch slughorn got aragogs venom. sad day. sad sad day.

CHILE ANYWAYS. i gave birth to a frog. he was rlly slimy so i murdered him. i aint got time for babies, im too busy be a stripper.me and ron had a stripper competition and i won cuz im so hot. im rrly skinny, im only 6879kg. IKR IM SO HAWT. oh stawp it i know im hawt. tehe

OWA OWA