The Frenchman - a wolfstar au (Complete)

All you had is not all you have

*AN*
Theres a digger outside because of a power cut and it's distracting me. I thought I should share because why ever not.

This was the day where the Gryffindors had their anual chess tournament, it usually ends in an intense game between Sirius and Remus - last year they weren't sure who won because Remus was distracted by Sirius' new lip peircing so "Surely that's cheating!" but "I did it so that you'd be less focused on me! I didn't know you were into that!" and no one wanted to hear that conversation so this year decided it all - because Remus learnt chess and picked it up quickly and Sirius was brought up in the ancient and most noble house of Black so naturally he was good at chess.

This however, didn't happen. Sirius and the rest of the Marauders (including Lily she's basically a Marauder by now) were chatting and not really bringing up what'll turn them against each other in a few minutes. Then, a house elf by the name of Kreacher appeared infront of them with a loud crack. Sirius jumped up and the sight of him as the others just jumped in their seat. "What is it Kreacher." said Sirius firmly, Sirius had run away from the Black family entirely so this was very unexpected, he then noticed that Kreacher was... crying? "Kreacher?" had his mother died? Please say she did.
"Kreacher brings a message." croaked Kreacher
"Spit it out then." sighed Sirius,
"Master Regulus..." Kreacher started, getting Sirius' full attention "has perished." the colour drained from Sirius' face, his legs went weak, he sunk onto the chair behind him, he didn't notice the other four looking at him.
"And the message?" he managed to get out,
"He said he wanted Kreacher to say to you Master Regulus was trying to do the right thing." Kreacher said before disapperating with another crack.
"Sirius?" asked James, who was looking at him nervously.

No. No no no no no he can't
He is
No he isn't, this is my family trying to get me to stop talking to him
No it isn't, he's gone
No! No no-
"No no no no." it seemed as though Sirius' thoughts managed to slip out his mouth,
"Sirius??" the other got ready to block the door incase he decided to be an idiot
"NO!" he yelled, as though realising something, he made for the window, the others got up but too late. He'd climbed out the window after grabbing the map from a table. He searched it for a while for a certain name before running off to the library.

^v^v^

When he got there he went right up to snape and yelled it him "IT WAS YOUR FAULT!" snape had just had a visit from Kreacher too "ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU MADE HIM DO IT!"
snape seemed to know what he meant, unlike the curious onlookers "I know." he replied
"HE WAS SIXTEEN!!" Sirius had tears of rage in his eyes now "SIXTEEN YEARS OLD!!! AND YOU MADE HIM THROW AWAY HIS FUTURE, HIS LIFE!! HE WOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT IF YOU HADN'T-"
"I KNOW!" yelled snape "I DIDN'T THINK IT'D HAPPEN TO HIM! IT DOESN'T HAPPEN THAT MUCH!!"
"THAT MUCH!?" could he hear himself? "IT SHOULDN'T HAPPEN AT ALL!!!! THAT BOY WAS A THOUSAND TIME THE PERSON YOU ARE! I WOULD'VE GIVEN MY LIFE FOR HIM AND YOU! WHAT DID YOU DO?"
This was when James, Remus and Lily ran in
"Come on Sirius." said Lily quietly, Remus took his hand and pulled him away as James made the crowd that had gathered go away.

They steered him to an empty classroom where he broke down in tears. "It'll be ok," said James quietly "he's in a better place, he was trying to do the right thing wasn't he?"
"H- he was all the family I had." Sirius sobbed
"All you had is not all you have." said Remus "You have us."
"We're your family Sirius." agreed Lily.
Sirius wiped his eyes and nodded, he tried to put a thousand words into that nod, sorry. Thank you. You are my family. They all seemed to understand.
There was a knock on the open door. They turned to see McGonagall smiling kindly, but sadly. "May I speak to Mr Black privately?" this was a request, one that could be turned down, Sirius nodded, he didn't have the energy to disagree anymore.

They got to her office and she gestured for him to take a seat. Sirius prepared to have her tell him off for yelling in the library or something but it never came. "Have a biscuit Mr Black." this surprised Sirius but not entirely, he reached out to take one from the box and started eating it.
"I understand that this is a troubling time for you." said McGonagall
"You heard then." Sirius said, not looking up, Sirius' defence when people started talking about his feelings was either make a joke or put up a wall and be harsh, since he doubted he'd find anything funny again he went with the second one.
"I guessed from what you said to mr snape." replied McGonagall "We should get an official owl soon though." Sirius made a sound to show he'd heard but still didn't look up, "This really isn't my place to offer," McGonagall continued "but if you need it you're welcome to take some time off school work and focus on something else." Sirius shook his head, he didn't want to be treated differently to usual.
"Thanks anyway." he found himself absent mindedly letting his wall down, was it the biscuit? or was it something else? McGonagall nodded understandingly before starting to talk to him about quidditch. Sirius was thankful for this, he needed a distraction.

^v^v^

That night he couldn't sleep, every time he closed his eyes he saw Regulus. His best memories of them together. How he could never pronounce ravioli yet always wanted it. How excited he was to go to Hogwarts. How he confided in Sirius about his crush previously, who was that anyway? He coudn't keep his emotions at bay much longer. He grabbed James' invisibility cloak and headed down to the lake. He sat there and cried. He cried until he couldn't cry anymore. The entire world had collapsed around him and he was floating helplessly in space. He remembered how Regulus' patronus was a dog, like his. He got out his wand, not expecting it to work, and tried casting a patronus. He thought of Regulus, just Regulus, just existing. To his surprise a large dog shot out the end brighter and more clear than ever. The glowing white dog bounded around for a while, then came back to him looking happier than he had every seen. He patted it. Then he smiled.