Angels

Other

After the incident I became closer and closer to Jonghyun.

He was my safety pin and I was his.

He made me feel at peace.

I was staying more and more at his and he was doing the same, always cautious that no one would see us.

I felt like his members didn't like our friendship but prefered to be quiet.

It's like, being with him made me normal again. If I was whole day with him, I forgot to take meds or any other thing that I was doing in the past.

"Shhh calm down" I soothed his hair and hugged him tighter.

"It's fine Jonghyunah you are here with me, that's just a nightmare, do not worry" I kept whispering in his ear while he subconsciously cried and screamed in his sleep. I knew I was the same, I found it out after my therapist told me that at a clinic. I knew how horrible this was, doing these things in your sleep and then you wake up, not remembering a thing.

After hugging his head for some time and whispering things to him he calmed down.

"M-mariam" he whispered tiredly and went back to sleep, falling into deep slumber.

It wasn't first time he did this. It's just after every day, he needed less and less time to be calmed down and sometimes I even cried that he trusted me this much that he was calming down after hearing my voice or just feeling my touch.

I felt really bad smell in my sleep and I woke up to see him staring at me with his nerdy glasses and yellow paint in his hands

"And what are you gonna do with that?" I chuckled.

"Paint a room duh?"

"Well I see that but like which room?"

"Storage one. I wanna use it as a studio"

"But vibrant yellow is too much for that room don't you think..? Like what about black? Or grey? Brown is good too!"

"I have only black and yellow tho." He chuckled and put pain on the ground. He reached out his hand to get me out of the bed and I did take it shaking my head.

"I feel like I will regret painting with you"

"You won't! We will have so much fun like wait and see!"

I changed into and old grey obersized t-shirt he gave me and an old black skirt I barely used nowadays because of the cold weather. I tied my blonde hair into messy bun and went to the room we were going to paint.

"Heres the brush!" He handed all the necessities and we started painting.

For first 30 minutes we really did paint like serious people but after that we just started joking around. I somehow ended up standing in front of the wall and he painting around me with the black paint. And after I came out there was this yellow "human" standing strangely

"Nooo come hereeee!!! I'm gonna paint you too!" I screamed at him and chased Jonghyun around the room.

This made me happy. It made me laugh, happya and all the positive feelings that I thought vanished from me.

"Stand like that!" I put his hands up in the air made him put his one of the leg up.

"Quickly!!! I'm losing my balance!" He laughed and I quickly draw around him with the black paint.

"We look like illegal rays of sunshine's in the world. Yellow colour is still strange one I swear!" I laughed

"I liked it tho! But wait a min why does your painting looks better than mine? Stand again"

"Noooo" I shouted and he chased me with the painting in his hands, I somehow ended up on the couch with him on the top of me.

"Gotcha" he smiled and jokingly put some paint on my face

I touched the point of the brush and got the leftover paint of my hand then put everything on his face "Gotcha" I winked at him and after I looked at him I couldn't stop laughing. It was practically a hand slapping him in the face

"You did not." He looked at me with joke anger and and took brush full of paint too.

"Nooo" I screamed and ran away and he chased me tucking me down and painting me from top to bottom with yellow paint.

For the forst time I laughed and don't regret it. I genuinely felt happy and wanted the moment to last forever.

"You know that paint won't easily come out from those clothes or even skin right? What's going on in here!" We heard a voice from the doorway and instantly stopped, I couldn't move but I felt how my body started shaking out of panick and anxiety

"Onew stop scaring her. We are just having fun" Jonghyun said and looked at me.

I just stared into his dark orbs and felt how my body calmed down.

You are my medicine Kim Jonghyun.

A/N: wanted to write this book after saw how Minho talked about him on the previous vid. To be honest I cried the way he mentioned him and explained it to the kid. Even remembering it now makes me cry.

I didn't know about him until he died but the connection I feel towards him... is unexplainable. I feel like he was my soulmate or smth ...