Angels

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Strangely, after his song sang for me, our bond became way stronger than it already was.

It was already 17th September and I did not even know he was debuting as a solo artist. I am such a bad friend. After realising his songs on Youtube, he took me to our room and started singing each of them for me. I found them beautiful. It was as beautiful as him, shining and brightenig my soul. They were sad but hope giving and lighting the candle which got blown away a long, long time ago.

"I finished the book" He smiled at me and handed out it to me " I want you to be the first one who reads it." 'Skeleton Flower: Things That Have Been Released and Set Free,' it read.

"Actually skelleton flowers are my favourite ones... they are so beautiful, like rain is its tears and when crying it fades away for some time, until it finds strength and doesnt see the sun again. I love them. " He gave me bright smile and told me to start reading as he sang.

first chapter was 'no more', then it was followed by: 'end of a day', 'honesty', 'better of', 'julliete', 'symptoms', 'U&I', 'alarm clock', 'I am sorry', 'by tomorrow', 'red candle', 'diphylleia grayi' and lastly 'authors note'.

As i finished reading and him - singing, i could not stop crying.

"Why are you crying?" He laughed nervously, "is it that bad?"

"no, no, it's just" I could not stop sobbig, "its so beautiful, but hope this is not something you expect me to do if you ever die?"

He laughed with his beautiful laugh and hugged me "nope, nope. Im staying here and i am not planning on leaving you, yet..? But really, is it good?"

"It's amazing" i chocked out and cried harder. It was beautiful, it genuinely was, but i couldnt form the words, because the tears were choking me and his hug was so warm... I could die in it right now.

"what do you think of ones eyes?" I asked after we grabbed some snacks and started watching some drama com.

"ill tell you answer to that before my death." he smiled and looked at me,

"Okay wow, thats one hell of a way to avoid answering a question. Okay then, have you ever been in love?" i was really interested, he always had some kind of love tint in his lyricses and it aroused my interest. "Do not dare to say you will asnwer this before yor death too!" I threw pillow at him, as he caught it while not being able to breathe from laughing.

"Okay okay. Umm as an idol I dated 2 girls in the industry and all but ive dated many outside of it. They mostly gave me this one time of a feeling of a sparkle and thats it. None was right one for me. Well soon after my last break up I met you and well I havent really tried to date anyone anymore. You make me feel more than 10 of them together ever did." he looked down and played with his fingers.

"And you are the only guy ive ever been close to. No sorry, only human being. Everyone avoided me and looked at me like I was some kind of animal. Sorry it's insult to them. They got more respect and affection than I have ever gotten. You changed me but it doesn't mean I don't need you anymore. You are like a drug to me. When I am near you I am high but after you go far away I lose the hype and fell harder in the hell. Don't leave me Jonghyun."

"I said I won't Mariam." I love you.

"When is it going to be published?" I asked as I brought book close to me and hugged tightly

"In 3 days I guess. SM already knows what the book about and so does the publishers so threes are no problems. And also that book is yours" he smiled, his cheekbones showing up and eyes disappearing slightly, merely titled head and hair fallen on his forehead. He was breathtaking.

I couldn't say much. I just looked at the book and made mental note to be buried with it. With the only gift I have ever received.

A/N: next chapter is my favorite parts from the book and I would be happy if you check it out! Thank you so much for everything 💕