Angels

You

"Meet Hae Song Mariam! She's my girlfriend!" One day after all this to tiring of EXO boys was finished and we were in good terms too, he came to me after SM practice and introduced me to some girl.

She was actually really beautiful. Blonde long hair, light brown, honey like color eyes, white paper kind of skin tone, petite and fragile body, long lean legs and slim hands, small nose and full lips, low cheek bones and small cheeks, her profile was breathtaking too, perfect angel skull.

"N-nice to meet you," and I looked at him in baffle because I hated meeting new people and knowing that I wouldn't be able to use him as a shield anymore broke me more "I-I'm sorry. I'm bad with people" I bowed and quickly went into our studio.

"Why." With my head in my knees I asked after he came in room "why didn't you tell me sooner Jonghyun?"

"I don't know... it's only a month since we are in touch and only a week since in relationship."

"I thought you trusted me with your thoughts Jonghyun... I opened up for you like an open book and I was close to someone else's man more than I should've been. What is that supposed to mean?  You could've just said from the start?" I just felt really betrayed. I hated this feeling because it felt like I was gonna lose him.

"Mariam please... what's wrong with this I don't understand"

"That's the problem. You don't understand what I feel. It's not that I'm not happy for you. Hell no. I'm the happiest for you. But you forgot that I am here that needs to know everything so I will act as I should." And I ran out. I saw him chasing after me but lost me in crowd. I was just running to my house. To house which was never really a home but some place I was staying at.

Rushing in my room and not even touching bed I sat in the corner. Corner that was always comforting to me. I knew that I was gonna lose him because of her and I am selfish because of that but... I'm human too. I finally found someone who understands me without uttering a word and now she's gonna be between us.

We want that or not she will separate us slowly until it won't be able to be even fixed.

For the next month we were mostly texting each other, which was to be honest perfectly expected. He had a "world" tour which of course included only Asian countries but she was also with him.

And I was breaking... I hurt one of my butterflies. I killed it. My thoughts weren't quieting down and voices weren't going anywhere. My brain was one big black line that has been played with and something messed it up horribly. So I kept on hurting that one butterfly over and over again until I couldn't even feel numbness.

"Miss? Miss?" Some girl kept waving their hand in front of me to take me out from my "zone" but no use. "Miss. Your order is ready?" After she shook me I woke up from the other world.

"Sorry. Thanks for coffee" and I aimlessly walked back to my flat. But moment when I went in, I blacked out.

After I woke up I had scratches all over my body. As I looked at them I was confused what they were... I looked around and realized that I was in the living room and I had fallen on the glass table I had for magazines. Blood was flowing from here and there but nothing serious. All I could do was wash up and go to bed for the first time.

Somehow bed always meant the place full of nightmares and cries for me. Every time I tried to sleep there was time I cried in it. Every time I laid here I tried to suicide but this time? I'm just gonna wrap myself in my blanket and sleep.

But this sleep was so quiet and cold but got warmer as I slept deeper.

In my dreams I heard some familiar voices but I was unable to analyze to whom it belonged to or what it was saying. It was just a big mess.