Only Home (Completed)

Chapter 7

"So, you guys are already back with each other?" asked Anna with eyes so wide you'd imagine as though it's going to come out. I told her all that happened between me and Kiel and her reaction were no different from what I expected.

"No, we're not. Closure lang iyon," I said while sipping coffee. My mind is honestly still clouded with thoughts, the main reason why I asked Anna to meet me. I felt like if I had someone whom I can talk to, then maybe I can get my mind organized again. It did quite helped.

"Okay? Uh, you guys already apologized to each other but he hasn't mentioned that he wants you guys to be together again, right?" she asked.

"Well, yes."

"Okay!" she clapped her hands in the air, "That settles everything then! You can now live at peace. Nagkalinawan na kayo at nasabi na ang mga dapat sabihin at higit sa lahat ay wala siyang hiningi na kahit ano. You don't have anymore baggage with you. Pwedeng pwede ka na talagang magmove forward. That's really good news, right?" she held my hands while saying that. She was more like encouraging me rather than asking me a question.

"Well...uh..." It is indeed good news because finally, I can leave everything in the past but why am I stuttering?

"Oh no." Ang mga kamay niyang nakahawak sa kamay ko ay napunta sa pagtakip sa bibig niyang nakabuka. "Jade?!"

"What?"

"Don't tell me that you still love him?" she suddenly shook her head in disbelief. "Jade, paalala ko lang naman ano? Huwag tayong umasa nang basta basta ulit. Baka sa huli tayo lang din ang masaktan. Ni hindi mo nga alam kung anong intensyon niya sa pag-uusap niyong 'yon e. Malay mo gusto niya lang na malinis yung pangalan niya sa'yo o baka gusto niya lang na maging fair ang mga bagay-bagay sa inyong dalawa. Sabihin na nating wala nga talaga siyang kasalanan sa nangyari noon at naset-up lang siya, e ano naman ang magagawa non sa kasalukuyan? Isa pa, sigurado ka man lang ba na sa nakalipas na mga taon ay hindi nabago ang nararamdaman niya?"

Napatungo na lang ako. Tama si Anna. Ilang taon na ang lumipas and I knew for a fact that nothing is constant. Gaano nga ba ako kasigurado na ako pa rin hanggang ngayon? I knew Kiel. When he thinks that something is unfair, he itches to fix that. Ganoon siya noong kami pa. Siguro kaya ganoon nalang siya kakulit na makausap ako tungkol sa nangyari ay dahil iniisip niya na masyadong unfair para sa aming dalawa na basta na lang maghiwalay ng walang matinong pag-uusap. Na unfair para sa aming dalawa na basta na lang magmove forward nang hindi man lang pinag-uusapan ng maayos ang nakaraan. Siguro nga iyon lang ang intensyon niya at wala ng iba pa. Ako lang siguro itong...nevermind. I pity myself for hoping.

Dahil naka-upo si Anna kaharap ko ay lumipat siya sa tabi ko para haplusin ang likod ko. She looked at me with concerned eyes.

"Jade, hindi naman sa ayoko na magkabalikan ulit kayo. Wala naman akong problema kay Kiel lalo na ngayon na nalaman ko na wala siyang kasalanan sa nangyari, pero ayoko lang na masaktan ka ulit nang dahil sa mga maling akala. Masakit mag-assume, alam na natin 'yan, diba? Huwag mo munang bigyan ng kahulugan ang mga bagay-bagay at higit sa lahat, huwag mo munang isugal ang puso mo ulit lalo na't wala namang kasiguraduhan. Ayoko lang na masaktan ka ulit." Anna gave me a tight hug. I nodded and hugged her too. She's right.

"I'll guard my heart carefully now," I said in between our hugs.

"That's better," Anna replied.

Umalis din si Anna kanina dahil mayroon pa siyang aasikasuhin na importante kaya naman nag-desisyon ako na mag-unwind muna. All these thoughts would drown me if I wouldn't let it out. I know na nasabi ko na kay Anna kanina iyong mga nangyari, which indeed made me a bit comfortable but that is not enough. I needed to think my thoughts through. I was thinking to go to a gallery. Maybe the art that I would see there would make me calm. I had my car back already from Selene. I asked her if how was her mom doing and she said that her mother was all fine now. She also thanked me endlessly for making her borrow my car and I said that it was nothing.