Former Assassins/Killua Zoldyck x Reader (BOOK 1)

Chapter 9

Killua walks up to the weird pin guy when he strikes up this conversation.

"It's been a while Kil, (Y/N)."

He starts to take pins out of his face and head. I look closer after they're all taken out.

NO, IT CAN'T BE. PLEASE GOD ANYONE BUT HIM PLEASE.

It was... Illumi.

Pure fear was seen in and out of Killua and I's eyes. I couldn't hold it in. I was truly scared. What was going to happen to both of us? He's with my parents. We're dead- no I'M DEAD.

"B-Big brother?..." Killua starts to talk, but he can't. He's terrified. So am I.

I start trembling. My breathing gets heavier. Just as bad as Killua. We both have a right to be afraid as well.

Leorio and Kurapika notice and start asking what's wrong, but I only see their mouths move. I'm so focused on the match, that they're all I can hear.

What if he gets my parents. What'll happen to me if they get a hold of me?! They're angry, aren't they? I'll be punished for sure. Oh no...

"Hey. Killua, I heard you stabbed mom and Milluki."

Killua calms down a little, the shock had finally stopped, making him able to speak. "Guess so."

"Mom couldn't stop crying. She was just so happy. She was delighted to see that her son had finally grown up. But she's concerned about you being out." He turns to me. "(Y/N). Your parents asked me to get you back. They're very disappointed. If you go back now, there will be less of a punishment. They wanted me to express how angry they were. They said something about a 376."

All the color drains from my face. 376 is one of the worst torture methods that they ever created. I almost feel like puking, running, and crying at the same time. But I try to keep composure. I know that If I say anything at all, the gates will flood open, and I would be able to stop them. My knees fall out on me, and I fall to the ground trembling harder.

"I had absolutely no idea you guys wanted to become hunters. As for me, I'm here to get a license for a job that's coming up."

Killua tries not to look at me. He knows why I'm acting like this, but any acknowledgment from him, would destroy me completely. "We.. don't actually want to become hunters. We just felt like taking the exam." He thankfully speaks for both of us.

"I see... Well that's a relief. In that case, I have some advice for you both. You guys are not cut out to be hunters." Killua gasps and my breathing gets heavier. "You were born for one purpose. To be assassins. You guys are puppets of darkness, devoid of passion. There is nothing you desire, nor is there anything you wish for. As two who live in the shadows, the only pleasure you both are capable of is derived from causing death. Because, that's how Dad and I raised you, and that's how your parents raised you (Y/N). What do you two imagine that you would accomplish by becoming a Hunter?"

I stop for a second. What is it that I truly want? AH- I got it. Cmon, please let me say this without destroying everything.

"I-its true. We don't really want to become hunters. But... Everyone wants something. Even us." My voice was shaky, hands quivering.

"You don't." Illumi quickly responds.

Killua yells back. "You're wrong! There is something that we really want!"

"Hmm... Enlighten me. What is it that you both want?" He waits for a second to hear a reply, but there isn't one. "What's the matter? There really isn't anything, is there?"

"There is!" I shout. I don't know where it came from, but I randomly gained a sliver of confidence. I stand up, my legs a little wobbly, but they're standing. "We... I want to be... friend with Gon... Were... just so sick of killing people. We want to be friends with Gon... and just have fun."

"Impossible." Illumi shuts me down immediately. You are incapable of friendship. The only thing you can do... Is discern whether or not you can kill them. That is all you were ever taught. Gon is such a radiant person, that you two don't know how to classify him. You don't actually desire his friendship. If you guys stay with him, you'll end up wanting to kill him. You'll wonder if you can, and you'll want to find out. Because, you both are by nature, a murderer."

My legs fall out once again, nearly shattering my leg this time. I can't look at anyone. I'm too ashamed. And scared. And hopeless. In a way he's right. That's what scares me the most. I can't move. I feel paralyzed. I can't move. I can barely breathe. I'm using all my energy to hold back tears.

Leorio starts to get angry, while Kurapika is worried about me. It doesn't matter. They can't help. I can barely help myself right now.

I could barely make out what Illumi was saying after that. Something about killing Gon, and Killua giving up. Those words. 'I give up.' I had almost given up, but when I heard those words, I completely gave up. I lost all hope. I wasn't scared. I wasn't angry. I wasn't happy. I felt the same as I did before I met Killua. I felt... empty.

I stood up. I didn't respond. I just waited for Killua to finish up. He killed Bodoro and started to walk out. I followed. There was no point anymore. The walk back was silent. A couple of train rides, a couple of walks, and we finally made it.

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(939 Words)

hey guys! This was kinda depressing to write lol

But anyways, please comment and share my stories! I spend a lot of time making them!

DRINK WATER CUZ UR PROLLY DEHYDRATED.