A Court of Made Madness - Azriel's love

12. Absolute Darkness

Asterin

"I'm sorry for what happened to you", Lucien says to me in the disgusting, dark cell that we share - worse than in the prison.

"Let's not do this okay? He's not even your father, you don't need to feel pity for me. I didn't have the worst story of my friends - I'm just the only one who survived long enough to tell the tale." I reply trying to sit in silence, listening to anything the voices have to say to me but they fear this place and the threat it brings just as much as I do, if not more. They don't want me hushed again so won't pose a threat to my safety here.

Elain's motives are clear: she wants to be mortal again and get revenge on the Fae kind as a whole. If she can destroy Prythian, letting Beron think he's leading his army to victory and instead she manipulates them into killing any opposition and him along with it - I might just sit back and watch.
But I'm here for a reason still unknown to me. I don't think that killing me is enough for Koschei to get his power back. As much of a burden that it is, my power belongs to me. It is MY possession. My power has threatened my life on multiple occasions but the worst part is that I know when I'm approaching death, and it's never when I most want it.

"Okay then, let's talk about Helion being my father. How is that even possible", Lucien says to me, leaning his head back on the wall above his stack of hay.

"Well I put two and two together just by looking at the two of you. He slept with the bitch who happens to be your mother, she gave birth and bam - you were born", I say in as few words as possible. Of all people to be locked with - it had to be another Autumn Court member.

"Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't anyone else say anything?" His voice has a hint of anger.

"Well I'm sorry that I've had more pressing matters to deal with. You really thought everyone in Autumn Court hated you because you're the youngest son? You must think yourself very special if that's the case", I say and he doesn't respond. He closes his eyes, head still tilted toward the slit in the wall that's supposed to act as a window or for air. It doesn't provide enough of either.

"They're going to kill us. Both of us" he says, looking up to the light.

"Yep. You'll be first." I reply

"You know, Elain never even gave me a chance, she was suddenly into Azriel as soon as our bond clicked. I could scent their shifts when they were near each other", Lucien says.

"Really?" I ask "huh."

"Oh he wanted her so bad. He was all over her, though they never had sex but I think Rhysand was the reason for that. The mating bond is not something to be tested or forced away." Lucien adds and I laugh. I laugh because I could tell how horny Azriel was. If he was pining over Elain and couldn't get her for over a year, then the scent changes around me made much more sense as someone new, someone who hadn't slept with anyone else in the Night Court.

"I'm sorry, it's just that Elain? Fragile Elain, with Azriel's wingspan?", I cough laughing and Lucien growls and laughs with me for 5 minutes.

My lack of breath from laughing begins to constrict my throat and I have tears in my eyes. I can't breathe and my voices scream in a panic, making my own ears bleed.

Then a long high-pitched sound.

"Asterin, Asterin! Hey look at me, you're having a panic attack" I do look at him, more clearly in the light and all I see is an Autumn Court soldier approaching me.

I still can't breathe but I prepare myself to let go, until his hand is tight around my mouth and I try to fight it off.
"I'm sorry but I can't let you scream. Not yet", he says.

My adrenaline is very high right now and I stop everything at the realisation of what the voices have been telling me, hissing at me the whole time I was back here.

"Koschei can take Elain's immortality, lead her so much closer to death. That's why I'm here, he's been trying to get my power for centuries. Elain thinks she's got everything under control but he will kill her, and me in the hunt for the death of everyone and everything."

"That is not entirely true", I hear the deep voice from earlier say. My father.

"How are you here? You're still supposed to be trapped at the river on the continent" I ask when I finally see him. His black eyes like Weaver's, I inherited them in part, my pupils being black. His hair also black, his skin tanned and exposed to the sun at all hours of the day. He's tall and wears a black suit, his beard short and his image preserved with magic. It's easy to tell he was trapped as a result of his own preservation and ego.

"You know, you are the spitting image of your mother. As beautiful as she was, that bitch is the reason I'm not really here - thanks to Helion I'm just an image. You forget daughter, that my body and soul are separate and lost at different parts of the world, possibly in different worlds. That's why I need you - to place my soul and Elain's power in your body and feed on the power you took from me. I need you for my freedom", Koschei says.

"Unfortunately I need a few things first before I can do that so at least you have Helion's bastard here to keep you company until Elain breaks her bond. It'll kill her when she does - she's working against nature and the mating bond is one of the most powerful natural occurrences. The cauldron won't like her for it."

"She doesn't know this does she?" Lucien asks from his side of the cell. "You'll trick her into giving over her powers and her immortality and you'll what? Collect her soul at the end of it?"

"Well it's an added bonus. She's doing all this to escape the one that loves her, for the man she truly loves" Koschei laughs "how ironic. Take a seat daughter, this'll be a wonderful performance".

"So you want to take away my freedom for your own?" I ask with disgust.

"Oh no I'm doing this for you sweetheart. You'll still be here somewhere, able to watch and admire your power grow but you'll be absolute darkness. You've controlled it for so long, now I'll let it control you - how it's supposed to" he replies.

"Grow? You mean it can get worse?" He curls a lip in a smile and walks up the steps back into the shadows.

I have no way to leave now. They didn't even put a collar on me this time. Maybe the plan is to let me scream the light out of me and test my abilities, but I can't. I won't.

"Do it." Lucien says, as if reading my thoughts.

"If I'm going to scream, I'll make sure I have a target. I can't very well kill you if you're in the way, completing Elain's work for her." I reply

"You really can't control it?" Lucien asks, tilting his head at me

"I'm not sure I want to."

"You have to. It's yours unless Koschei takes it and my guess is that it'll be sooner than we'd like" he states.

Would it be so bad though... to let Koschei revel in my powers. I can't control them and he's much more powerful than I am. I don't want to be only half something: half heard, half light, half in control. I want to be whole. Maybe wholly gone wouldn't be so bad. I want the option of death and knowing that my father is the deciding male in that - I'll never be allowed to die and let his power die with me.

Even if I tried to fight back, I'm trying against the male who trapped me for years and let me rot, my father who is the most powerful being left alive, and a bitch who is only in her 20s and thinks she can take down the Fae kind altogether, blinded by her human heart.

The best I can do now is convince them they've won.

So I scream the gate down, how I know I'm supposed to, putting Lucien behind me and walking out together, killing a guard and taking his weapons and telling Lucien to light the hay on fire behind us as I bolt the entrance to the dungeon shut, the place that scarred me and took whatever light I had in the first place.

We walk out of the burning building, darkness in my eyes and finger-tips, turning the clouds above us dark - letting it out with unwavering flow as red-haired guards charge at me and I'm soon covered in the blood of my enemies and a newly formed black dress, matching to Lucien's suit to overthrow the court that took everything from us.