The Space Between Us | L.S

Confrontation

As the minutes of the lesson passed, the ceaseless buzzing of the classroom and the unlimited amount of energy the students contained increased. We were doing experiments today, making chemical reactions that would explore in smoke for a brief second and change colours. It was partner work, and my classmate Jonathon's giddiness was very apparent — this was probably the one reason he was in this class. Our minds needed to be completely focused on our work because one wrong move and we would blow up the west wing hallway. Well, maybe not that dramatic but we could loose our eyebrows in the process. 

My mind kept drifting to last night, phone sex with Louis. And when I would physically shake the thoughts away, they would navigate right to my conversation with Danielle. What happened between everyone? There were so many things with Louis that I haven't brought up, like him selling his share of Sin's. Through the rumour mill that Jonas was a frequent flyer in, I had heard certain scenarios but none of them made sense. Louis loved his job, and he loved being the owner of his own place. What was he doing now? 

"One tube of that bylafctric acid Wendy." Johnson said next to me, and I came back to reality and began doing my job. 

But my mind was speeding over the limit at work. It was unbearably slow today, and everyone that was scheduled with me were the veterans who had been working here since they were my age. No fun, and no conversations besides work-related topics. 

"Incoming," Janice, my supervisor said over the walkie-talkie and my spine instantly straightened. My eyes stayed peeled on the door as I awaited the incoming party, their footsteps stomping through the narrow hallways that led to me. Was it just one person? For fuck sakes, I hope it isn't that lad that came in here one time to fap. 

But as the doors were pushed open, I wished it was the horny man. 

"What are you doing here?" I questioned softly, glancing around the room that I felt isolated in. Morgan stood in front of me, his stance still as the swinging doors flapped to a close behind him. He began walking towards me and it was almost like the room was shrinking in size. 

"Your text was kind of off-putting." He finally said, stopping a few feet away from me. 

"What?" I dumbly asked, my mind not registering that he was actually here. 

He reached for his phone from his back pocket, and began navigating to something, "Please do not text/call/talk to me ever again. You are not a good person and I do not want to be associated with you." He was reading my text.

"So you can read? What wasn't clear?" I found the courage to say, and I folded my arms in front of me. He might think it was to appear intimating but it was really to mask my shaky hands. Why was he here? 

"Well, yes I can read but I do not understand it. Why do you not want to talk? Why am I a bad person?" 

"You know why!" I finally outburst, his condensing tone sending me over my boiling point. 

"No, I clearly don't."

 "Do you remember the last time we had sex?" I said through gritted teeth. 

"Sort of, why?" His eyes puzzled, as he looked at me incredulously. 

"That is why Morgan. Because...you didn't stop. That's why we can't be mates Morgan. You didn't stop when I asked you to and that's...that's rape."

"What?" He breathlessly said, paired with a humourless laugh, his eyes widening just the slightest at my accusation. "Are you taking a piss with me? I didn't rape you."

"You did; when someone asks you to stop during sex and you don't-that's rape. Trust me I've spent the last two weeks researching it because I thought I was crazy. Because who would act so casual like you did after raping someone!" I could sense myself nearing hysterics, my voice increasing with every word I said to him.

"Can you keep your voice down?" He said, glancing around at the empty room. The closest person to us was Henry the security guard who walked around the halls but he didn't know that. 

"No!" I spat, "You raped me!" 

"For fuck sakes, no I didn't!" He stepped closer to me and instinctively I took a step back, my backside brushing against the cold slab of cement behind me. 

"You did!" Despite my retreating form, I kept my voice stern and clear. I was not standing down on this one. 

"Shut the fuck up!" He roared, his eyes poking holes through my stern persona I had thrown on. I had never seen Morgan angry before, well not like this. Sure, he got angry at a class grade or if his flatmate was annoying him but not like this. 

"No, you-you don't get to breeze past this." I took a second to recollect myself, my voice wavering just the slightest, "You fucked me up! I thought what you did was fine but you took advantage of me, so no I won't shut the fuck up! I want people to hear so maybe you won't get the chance to do that to someone else!" 

He took another step towards me, and I raised my hand to create space. "One step closer and I will scream bloody murder." 

"You're a fucking psycho." he laughed, shaking his head, "why the fuck would I rape you? Huh? You were so easy and fanning over me the entire time, why the fuck would I need to force myself onto you?" I watched as his balled hands relaxed from their fisted position. "You run your mouth about this, and see what happens Wendy." 

Then he stomped off. I held my breath until the doors swinged to a final close. I slid down the cement wall, letting out a choked sob. Not because of what just happened but because this was finally over. 

In the days following, I forced my interaction with Morgan in the back of my mind. I attempted to carry on like nothing happened with everyone around me. And I knew I was doing a good job because Jonas, a blood hound for this type of thing, didn't pick up any faults in my faked persona. 

It was Friday when Louis got his results back. He was good to go. I thought I would be bounding with joy, all but sprinting to his place but the excitement was overpowered by the anxiety of seeing him again. We hadn't seen each other in person since us almost having sex; the only thing keeping us alive was phone sex and texting periodically throughout the day. 

Louis would sense my anxiety. It was so much different than having to hide it from Jonas. One look at me and Louis would know something was up. So, I told him I would meet him at his place, and chugged a beer before leaving to ease the nerves. 

And it worked. When we greeted me in front of his building, he took my face in his hands studying it for a moment. But he just leaned down to give me a soft kiss before leading me up to his flat. 

We were halfway through making dinner, when I knew I had to tell him. "I talked to Morgan the other day." I confessed casually, as a I chopped the carrots into thin slices. Despite not looking at him, I could feel his spine straighten and the air shifted in the small kitchen. 

"Sorry baby? Didn't quite get that?" I glanced up at him just as his wooden spoon stilled in the pasta sauce. "Cause' I thought you just said you talked to that fucker."

"Well, you heard me correctly." I placed the knife down and began loading the carrots into the salad bowl. "We just," I paused figuring out the best words to ease him down, "talked everything out. We won't be speaking again." His body pressed to my back, his arms lowering to trap me against the counter. 

"Where?" His hot breath tickling my neck "You meet up with him or something?"

"No." I took my time answering the question, "He came to my work to talk. I didn't invite him." 

"You wouldn't bring it up if ya' didn't want to talk about it." He accused, leaning down to give my shoulder a kiss. 

"I don't want to talk about it. I brought it up because I didn't want this to be a thing if you found out later."

"Then why didn't 'ea mention it beforehand?" His voice was raspy now, and I could tell he was attempting to practice patience with me. 

"I didn't know what to say." I said honestly, "It just happened and then it was done with. Lets just move on." 

And we did. For now at least.