Mohabbat Ki Kitaab (The Book Of Love)

📚12.📚

A FEW DAYS LATER....

"Tu ajj kal chup kiu hai?"

(Now a days you're very silent! Why?)

He asked when I was reading my course book.

"Exam hone wale hain  tention ho rahi hai"

( I am worried as my exams are near)

I replied without glancing at him.

"Ab tu men'nu waqt hi nahi deti! Sara waqt sirf kitaba wich lagi rahindi hai"

(Now you don't give me time, all the time you only stay busy in books)

He complaint rightfully and this time I lift my gaze towards him disappointment was clearly peeping out from his small eyes.

"Tum bhi to meri koi baat nahi maante! Kitna samjhati hu ke ab ham gaaw me nhi sheher main rehte hain, apni aadato ko badlo, tum meri koi baat sunte ho kya?"

(You also don't pay attention to what I want to make you understand! Since long time I'm trying to make you understand that now we are living in city not village that's why you should change your habits as well as manners but you don't care about my choice and wish)

I asked with anger as well as disappointment and again started giving my eyes to the books.

"Tu Jalli hai"

(you're an idiot)

Saying that he lightly pulled me, but the jolt wasn't light for me as that was unexpected; my book fell down from my hand and I literally collided with his chest, he encircled an arm around me and kissed my forehead.

Which I didn't like a single bit. After almost five years of marriage I was understanding that since day first to then I never like him touching me but due to the lessons I got regarding fulfilling of husband's desire I was tolerating that on the name of duty of a wife.

"Shahir wich aaune de baad ten'nu gussa wadia ane lagia hai"

( after coming to city you've become  angry cat)

He said like he was trying to tease me, which was exactly opposite to his nature but I didn't like that too. I felt his other hand on back, under my shirt which made me shivered. I was still weak after abortion and I couldn't afford another pregnancy.

"Pleas... " I held his hand while trying to creep backward but his grip was enough tight to hold me against his chest, before I could even complete my sentences he started kissing me and my tears came out from my eyes. My heart was beating very fast and I was shivering with fear of that pain which I don't want to experience again in my whole life. Soon his kisses started converting into passionate one and a sob left from my mouth, for a moment he stopped and watched me and I felt satisfied that he would stop then but he wiped my tears and kissed my forehead before again started his wild kissing.

"Ruk jaao... Please... Ruk jaao"

(Stop it... Please... Stop it)

I literally begged in front of him and creeped away from him, he was looking shocked. That was the first time after our marriage when I stopped him to come closer to me.

"Ki hoya?"

(what's wrong?)

I was answerless on that question! I wanted to tell him that I didn't wanted him to come close to me! I was scared of the pain of abortion, I didn't had courage in me to tolerate that again, he was the reason behind that pain! And moreover I too had a heart and soul! I too had some right to express my wish and choice! I wasn't a puppet whom he could use to fulfil his needs. He never asked me about my choice but always forced himself on me! I was so naive in the beginning that could even understand what was going on with me but passing time made me realise about what happened with me in my teenage!