twisted beautiful things

xxi. touch

xxi. touch

'as you try your best to pull away

something surges, 

urges you to stay

cause i can't, you can't, we can't 

get no satisfaction'

(zayn)

julian

The sky weeps as my shoes squelch in the puddles on the sidewalk, my head bent against the wind. Cold bullets of rain splatter on my jacket, seeping into my clothes to freeze my insides. It's miserable but it doesn't do anything to distract me from my inner chaos.

Stalker dad ghost belt Nova rain storm hit bruise burn Rebecca mayhem confusion melancholy-

My head has been so full the past few days. It's been filled with confusion and longing and fear, about a multitude of things. My father, for instance. By the sound of his text ordering me home, he's angry. Then there's the fact that I miss Novella, but I know it's my fault we are so apart. I'm with Rebecca now, which at first I thought could just be for fun, so that I could get a breather every once and awhile. 'Dating' is a loose term for what we have-she's super chill about the whole thing, but although she is attractive, there is none of the chemistry I feel in regards to Novella. We spend most of our time hanging around her tattoo parlor, or her house. I've learned a lot about her the past few weeks. Her parents are this happy couple that check in on her daily, and she babysits her nephew a few times a week. She's genuinely a good person with a contagious laugh and a bright smile.

But after a few weeks of being 'together'- neither of us have called each other boyfriend/girlfriend- and I realize that I may have gotten with her for the wrong reasons.

It wanted to distract myself from the longing I feel for Novella. I thought being around someone else would get her out of my mind, but instead it's only gotten worse. I'd been with Rebecca partially to get Nove out of my head, partly to try something new because I genuinely liked Rebecca, and partly to push Nove farther away from me as possible. Because I can only picture me hurting her in the future.

Then there's the stupid account, still following me around, posting pictures of me on the internet. Whoever runs this account knew Gianna was trying to hack it and had successfully thwarted our attempts to shut it down.

The big words NICE TRY flash behind my eyes as I walk in the rain towards home and I shiver, wondering if whoever it is is following me right now.

I look up, glancing nervously around for anyone.

The street is empty; everyone has taken refuge from the rain inside. Streams of muddy water run along the road, into gutters and sewers. The trees outside the buildings I pass bend and snap in the wind, their branches whipping at nothing. The rain falling on the road creates a mist that rises from the street and turns into fog.

But there is not another soul out.

That is, until I approach my house and come across a dark figure, standing in the middle of the sidewalk.

My heart speeds up several notches and I feel fear raise the hairs on my arms.

The figure is a man, based on their build, but that's all I can tell from here. The fog and the shadows conceal his face. But who else would be crazy enough to stand stock-still in this rain, like a statue?