Dave: Schrödinger's cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that's both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.
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Dave: You wanna see how hardcore I am?
Dave: *punches wall*
Dave:
Dave: Take me to the hospital.
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Dave: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.
Mr Hater: Dave, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.
-
Dave: Hey Mr Hater can I get a sip of your water?
Mr Hater: It's not water.
Dave: Vodka, I like your style!
Mr Hater: It's vinegar.
Dave: Wh-Wha-
Mr Hater: It's vinegar, COWARD.
-
Dave: This is bothering me.
Mr Hater: Well, you are digging up a corpse.
Dave: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.
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Mr Hater, with his back turned: I've been expecting you, Dave Mathew.
Dave: WoAH, HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WAS ME!?!? YOU DIDNT EVEN TURN AROUND????
Mr Hater: To be perfectly honest with you.... the first few people I did that to were not you.
Alternately
Mr Hater: I've been expecting you, Dave Mat-
Aramaru:*frying a cucumber* tf you want stanky bitch
