Milkshake Hearts

Chapter 74: Ramen

Courtney isn't home when Shayne arrives back at their apartment, but he figures that makes sense: Ian's place is quite a bit further away from theirs than Damien's is, for one. He takes to tidying up anything he can find out of place across the apartment in the meantime, and turning off his laptop and packing it firmly in his bag of things to go to work tomorrow. He won't need it any more tonight. All the positive confidence he finds in cleaning disappears into thin air, though, the moment he hears her key in the lock and turns to watch her step inside.

"Court," he murmurs, affectionate and apologetic and guilty and relieved all rolled into one. He awkwardly moves to stand at the back of the sofa facing where she enters, not sure what to actually do. She sets her bag down just inside the door as it closes behind her, though, and rushes into his arms.

He hugs her back, of course, arms wrapping tightly and protectively around her, his own tears falling into her hair where his face is pressed against the side of her head, feeling her own tears wetting the shoulder of his shirt.

"I'm so sorry, Courtney. I'm so sorry," he mumbles softly, into her ear, "I didn't even mean it at all, I didn't mean any of it, I'm the one that's scared by all this house stuff and I feel like I'm stupid because I'm so out of my depth but I took it out on you instead which was so stupid and unfair and I just- I'm so sorry."

"I know," she replies softly, "and I could've handled it better if I told you I knew you were scared instead of leaning into being defensive and hurt and trying to hurt you back by making you worry. I'm sorry I disappeared."

"I deserved it," he sighs, as Courtney pulls away slightly and leads him around to the sofa. They wrap themselves around each other again when they sit down, arms around waists and Courtney's head tipped to press against the front of his shoulder.

"Maybe you did, but I don't know, I still think I shouldn't have done it. I... I mean, we were gonna fight over something sometime, it happens, and it sucks, but- it's fine. We both messed up, we're both sorry, and I just want to move past it, if we can do that, yeah?" she suggests, and Shayne hums in agreement.

"I love you. Yeah. But I mean- it... I kind of really, really hate that I've broken all the promises I made to you and so many people that are important to you and to us that I'd never intentionally hurt you, and I just... I need you to know how much I didn't mean it and how pissed at myself I am for that, and I guess I just gotta- try even harder not to ever do it again, and do everything I can to make it better," he rambles, voice hesitant but his grip around her tightening in confidence.

"I love you too, sweetheart. I love you so much, and I trust you to treat me like a damn princess because you do, and that hasn't changed. Yes, you hurt me, but I- I know how much you hate that, and the whole time I was running off and refusing to answer you all I really wanted because I was upset was to be in your arms. Talking to Ian was nice and all, but..." she trails off.

"I just wanted to hold you and make everything okay and apologise a million times because I am so, so, so sorry," Shayne replies, voice full of certainty and heavy with emotion. It makes Courtney twist around to lean up and place a kiss on his lips, before he adds, "Why Ian?"

"Liv or Kari or whatever would've just sided with me, amped up my anger at you and told me you deserved something back and to ignore you all night or something. I knew Ian'd be rational and tell me that hurting you back was going to make things worse, not move past this. Which he did. And I mean, he also called you an asshole, but – me too. Ian's my older brother figure, I guess, and that's what I needed, if I couldn't have the fiancé," she explains, Shayne nodding in understanding.

"Damien certainly didn't let me off the hook, knew he wouldn't, but- yeah, I needed someone too. I was prepared to give you space, I just needed to know you were okay. I could've lived with feeling guilty and beating myself up over it for a bit but- not worrying about you... I was kinda bawling on Damien's couch about what an idiot I am," he admits, tone turning mildly humorous, and Courtney smiles against his shoulder.