Milkshake Hearts

Chapter 117: Nerves

Courtney finds herself taking a seat at the large dressing table across one edge of the room as she talks to everyone, but she soon finds herself settling into quiet and drifting out of the conversation around her, too.

It hits her slowly, but at the same time, it seems to hit all of a sudden. She's absolutely fine, truly, she's emotional and happy and buzzing with excitement as everyone chatters happily to and around her, but the simmering nerves in the back of her mind seem to combine with the buzzing excitement as anxiety spikes in her mind and through her body.

She clenches her hand against the vanity in front of her, refusing to meet her own eyes in the mirror despite the fact she turns away from her bridesmaids to stare into it. She examines the neck of her own dress, eyes running in increasingly panicked brushes back and forth trying to find some imperfection to hook her anxiety on.

"Court? You good?" Kari steps in close to her, hand settling on Courtney's shoulder. The contact makes her flinch and makes the slight trembling of her whole body much more apparent as she unsuccessfully wills her breathing to stay calm.

Courtney shakes her head, and she feels the room settle into quietness and everyone else's attention turn to her. It makes her panic even more, exposed and alone under all their states.

"Courtney, Courtney, it's okay," Kari tells her, but it merely causes Courtney to squeeze her eyes shut tightly and curl in on herself, arms crossing protectively around her own chest. Her mind is spinning in circles and the only thought she can grab on to just makes her feel worse: she wants to run to Shayne but right now, she can't.

"Anxiety attack. Too many people," she manages to mumble, after a minute of everyone around her giving her miscellaneous words of encouragement, as if trying to guess what had changed her demeanour so quickly. They get the message, thankfully: everyone except Kari moves to step into the other lounge area – even her mother.

"Liv," Kari calls one other person back, "you got more experience than me handling Court anxiety."

"Usually it's Shayne, actually," Liv answers quietly, although she shifts back to stand on Courtney's side opposite Kari, before speaking up slightly, "just anxiety, or about something in particular?"

"Particular. Ceremony. So many people-" Courtney mumbles a disjointed response, and the others nod, before she continues, "I need Shayne, but I know I can't see him yet and..."

"Oh, Court," Kari sympathises, a hand rubbing circles across the back of her shoulder. Courtney looks down and tries to take a deep breath, but it escapes her in a jolting shudder.

"Can I come in?" a voice calls from the external door. Kari goes to turn the person down, but Courtney recognises the voice and raises a hand to stop her, watching Kari instead step over to the door and let Dianne inside. She glances to Olivia for a moment, who gets the message, moving off onto the next room. It doesn't escape her that her own mother had left the room when she was panicking, but she had allowed her almost-mother-in-law in.

"Having a bit of an anxiety attack. Not about the getting married part, just the people watching it part," Kari murmurs to Dianne as she steps in and walks over to Courtney.

"Oh Courtney darling," Dianne muses sympathetically, moving over to rest a hand on Courtney's shoulder.

Her own mother reappears a moment later from the separate lounge and does much the same on her other side, and it makes her laugh sadly.

"Thank you. I just wish I could see him right now. He calms me," she mumbles, all three women around her nodding in understanding.

"I know, Court. And I know this is a big day for you, but remember, he's why you're doing it, yeah? Shayne is just downstairs waiting for you and if I know anything about him, he's not going to let go of you for the rest of the day as soon as you do your first look, and that's just you two, and it's only 15 minutes away," Kari sympathises from behind her, and she sighs.