Milkshake Hearts

Chapter 84: Close

Shayne's call to Courtney ends up longer than his call to Brian. They talk about Brian's news a little, but they don't need to discuss it a whole lot, so instead they quickly shift into talking about their respective days. Courtney happily recounting all the weird things her family were doing now there was a sizeable quantity of them in one place for a while again brings frequent laughs out of Shayne, filling his heart with contentment.

"Wish you could've been here," she muses, tone turning a little softer, as they run out of stories to tell about their days.

"I do too. Miss you, Court, and I kinda hate that I'm missing out on this stuff," he replies, smiling a little sadly. He had shifted through his own evening routine while they talked, ending up curled up on his side in their bed, and he nestles further down under the covers.

"Same, but, glad you called. Or well... I called because you wanted to talk. Whatever. I like seeing your face," she replies, disjointed. It makes him grin a little, but he's quickly interrupted by a yawn that gives them the signal to – reluctantly, slowly – hang up and each try to fall asleep.

He gives up at 4am, after hours of restless tossing and turning, instead returning back to his PS4 for some more Hades. She gives up at the same time, although she has to be a little more subtle, throwing on a jacket and walking silently downstairs and out onto the back porch. She has the space to herself for quite a while, watching the night ever so slowly turn into dawn over the back fence as she tries to empty her mind of too much thinking.

"What you out here for?" her mother asks, sliding open the back door and stepping out onto the porch as the sun rises.

"Couldn't sleep," Courtney answers, eyeing her new companion as she settles on one of the other chairs to her side.

"You still have trouble sleeping? You have since you were a damn baby," her mother sighs, and Courtney laughs without humour.

"It's called anxiety. But no, I don't anymore, just the reason I don't is in LA."

"All you modern types and your new illnesses... We just called it fussiness when I was a kid," her mother muses, Courtney biting back her response although she doesn't hide her grimace. Her mother sighs heavily in response, quietly acknowledging Courtney's silent debate, before she continues, "you do seem calmer than before you were with him."

"Yeah. He's brought a lot of comfort and stability to my life. I know he's there for me no matter what, one hundred percent. And I'm the same for him."

"But you're still not considering having kids with him?" her mother pushes. The question surprises Courtney a little, although it probably shouldn't.

"Not really, no, Mum. Shayne and I can and do have a complete, perfect relationship without children. It just isn't going to work for us for that to change any time in the foreseeable future," she reminds her mother, a little terse.

"Really? You don't have that instinct somewhere in you to want to be a mother? I'm pretty sure I can see it in him, that fatherhood instinct," she pushes.

"It's not like we haven't talked about it, Mum. We both really like spending time with all our nieces and nephews, and yeah, he's good with kids, but that doesn't mean he wants to be a Dad. Both of us do not have any desire to be parents anytime soon. And just... we're both actors. Our schedules are a damn mess, even if we did want kids it wouldn't be fair to them because we couldn't give them the time they need. It's just, for lots of reasons, not the way we see our life going."

"Do you not worry about your legacy? What can you leave to the world in the long run if you don't give the world children?" her mother presses.

"A lot of things, hopefully," Courtney snaps, before forcibly neutralising her tone, "a hell of a lot of my job is trying to navigate providing content primarily watched by a bunch of vulnerable young people that is entertaining but still finds ways to give them something of value. We might not be changing the world, or doing anything massive and consequential, but if I'm part of something that can make people feel a little bit more okay to be themselves, or to find good, positive friendships- then that's something I'm giving the world."