Milkshake Hearts

Chapter 87: I Cannot Stress Enough that it is A Tuesday

A/N: I hit a weird point in writing this a while back where I wanted to throw in some more kinda silly rewrites of actual Smosh vids to break up the serious, but I couldn't work out which vids. So, shoutout to the discord server - you know who you are! - that helped out with some suggestions!

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They only have three weeks back at Smosh between Thanksgiving and their extended holiday break, and to say their schedule is full would be an understatement. Their first Monday and Tuesday back are filled with extended writers' meetings – they're a little delayed on actually having enough content to film before they go on break – but given the time of year, they take a bit of an 'anything goes' approach. It's this approach that allows Courtney to quietly pitch and have approved a stupid Pit video idea she'd had floating around in her mind since the last time she'd played a character with oversized fake nails, and it's quickly scheduled for filming first thing on the Wednesday morning.

"So I know this morning's shoot is meant to be a secret Courtney squad video, but can you at least tell me?" Shayne asks her, leaning against their bedroom door that morning as he watches her sort through their closet in search of a particular shirt.

"Nope! Secret means secret my dude," she reminds him, glancing over to flash him a grin before returning to her closet searching. She and the producers had elected to make the idea being a surprise part of the video, and only a little bit because they assumed some of the guys would debate participating if they knew what it was.

He tries to get her to give him at least some hint of what they're filming another handful of times before they leave the house. He employs all manner of tactics, from calm reasoning ("I promise I won't tell any of the others, and I can act like I don't know either") through kindness ("you're stunning today, by the way. Is the secret video about how perfect you are?"), the latter of which she openly rolls her eyes at. He attempts one last tactic, and it almost gets her.

"Please, baby? If you tell me I'll eat you out before work, if you'd like?" he pleads.

She moves closer to him in response to pull him into a deep kiss, but when she pulls back, she shakes her head.

It's the last thing he tries, choosing to quit bugging her over it then, and soon Shayne finds himself wandering to the studio with Damien, Ian and Courtney, the boys still clueless as to what for.

"Court wouldn't even tell you what it is, Shayne?" Damien complains, aghast.

"I tried, she wouldn't say anything," Shayne confirms, glancing to his side to see her grinning conspiratorially.

"Did you try offering sex?" Ian queries, "because I mean, you are well placed to use certain persuasion methods on Courtney that no one else can."

"He literally did," Courtney shoots back before he can step in, watching Shayne blush, "offered to do stuff before work, but I declined."

"Shut up," Shayne grumbles, embarrassed, "can we skip past that and you two can be happy that at least I tried and put in a lot of effort to work it out for you?"

"Effort like offering to do things you'd happily do anyway?" Damien rebuts, Shayne sighing and burying his head in his hands when they are all directed – by Courtney, who is apparently co-directing this video from on camera – to take the seats at the table in the middle of their Pit set.

They intro the video with the boys playing up their lack of knowledge about what it is and Courtney's playing coy, before she reaches just off camera to be handed a bunch of packets of acrylic nails which she then produces in front of her and spreads onto the table in front of the boys.