Ophelia ( A story about a love process ) ( COMPLETE ) ( EDITING )

Chapter 7 - Wedding

I have dreamt in my life , a tiny dream that all girls have at least experienced it their lives too. The dream of ideal matrimony. I wish i could be in the beach , instead of a compacted building. I wish all my friends and families were there to watch me . I wish i could marry someone i love..

Dream just a dream , a fragment of one’s desire. Only achieved by few determined people. Sometime i regret being too docile.

I never expected , that this day would come so fast. The day where i will marry Rosalind. As the hairstylist and make up artist do their works to me , i looked at my self in the mirror with empty lonely eyes . My hair turned into a french braid that time , i do feel so beautiful. They have done a good job , yet i still feel that i'm not my self. I want to cry.. but i can’t , because no matter how hard i cry and no matter how much the tears i let out. It will still end up the same , i will walk down the aisle , giving my self to Rosalind’s pride.

I can feel that bit by bit as they put the facade on me , my self..i started to lose it. Soon this Ophelia Bennet will be gone , after i take the vow..thus change my name to be Ophelia Carson.

“Smile please , i know you dislike this situation but at least..smile for the guests.”.My mom said after they’ve done with me. She looks beautiful today too. I can see the redness from her eyes though, she has been crying too this whole time but she acted tough. We both are very much alike in personality after all , we both fragile inside.

“You ..hate me so much do you ?”. I finally let out a tear. My mom's finger immediately shed it as i continued my sentence. “If you don’t hate me ..you wouldn’t put me in this situation from the first...place.”

“I don’t..”. Her finger also hold her tears from coming. “I don’t hate you honey. Instead , i love you so so much , if i could i would take you away  from this mess.”.She forced a smile. “But i can’t , Rosalind..she loves you so much. It would feel like a horrible sin , if i take you away from her.”

Her warm embrace feel so distant. Even my mom , the one who always i can count to still have her side on Rosalind’s. I cannot stop this , i have to do this.

“Open your heart for her Ophelia , you’ll learn how to love her and when you do ,your happiness will endless.”

There is no such thing as endless happiness . Because it only happen to people who feels grateful about their lives , and i’m sadly not one of them.

I noticed that my mommy has been watching us from the door way. While she crossed her arms and staring at us. I couldn’t figure how she was feeling there. There’s a hint of regret but also hopefulness.

“It’s about time.”.She said motioning me to come over. I let go of my mom’s hug then soon approach her.

She pointed to the pink roses on the table. I took it , grip it tightly for having the feeling of nervousness all of sudden. I hooked my arm to her , gripping it tightly also. She gave a little squeeze to it ,sensing the feeling i have suffered , then smile softly to tell that every things going to be alright.

I really miss that smile , i thought while we slowly walked to the venue. The kind of smile she let out when she tucked me to sleep , when i told her about my perfect score , when she watched me as i play the piano, and now she let it out once more... in my forced marriage.

I turned my eyes to the pale pink roses in my grip. I heard it symbolizes joy and happiness , yet nothing really joy and happy about this . For each steps i take now will soon lead me to her..Rosalind. The person i do not love.

For years she has been waiting me , for years her feeling remain the same for me . It is sweet to hear but sometime i wish that she could wait a little bit longer . Putting her self-regard aside and let me decide.