My Home is with Her. (Duff McKagan)

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She had the softest blonde hair, and everyone always said she was a keeper. I didn't ever know what that meant, until she was gone. Touring the world, having just that- the world at your finger tips sounds like any man's dream, right? Not until you realize what's at stake. The Plane ride was smooth, I tried to gussy up in the mirror, thinking of all the things I'd say once all my friends were gathered around- asking about touring the world. All those little questions that I'd been asked by interviewers and TV People and everyone since the Appetite For Destruction tour. Well It's the Use Your Illusion era now and everything is different. My hands trembled and shook rapidly every time there wasn't a bottle of vodka in my hand, if I wasn't so blistered that I could fall down I wasn't right. Nothing was right. Not without her. My face was swollen, everyone knows the severity of my problems, but it's not up to Slash or Axl to fix me. Izzy left as soon as his first royalty check for the Use Your Illusion double albums came in, he had enough of our boozed up shit to last a life time. Steven got the boot for doing exactly what I'm doing now, in this airplane bathroom, over indulging myself in drugs and alcohol- because I'm a mother fuckin' Rockstar and I should have that right. But that doe eyed, beauty plagued my mind, like a disease I never wanted rid of. Even If I knew a way to get her out of my mind, I wouldn't try. I can still smell her cheap perfume and her coconut shampoo. Things about her I took for granted last time I was drunk on her bedroom floor. The last time I heard her soft, little voice I was cursing her out for something I did wrong. And It was nobody but me that was too stupid to see she was the one. My hands finally stopped trembling after downing seven or eight airplane sized bottles of Vodka, so fast even I couldn't believe it. So it seemed like a okay idea to go back to my seat next to Slash. Who was already passed out drunk, he had woke up drunk it seemed. I unlocked the sliding door, and made my way through rows to my seat. Axl trotted through, looking around for somebody. "What's a man gotta do to get some service on this fucking plane? This is the last time we fly on somebody else's jet, next time we'll just wait on ours to get worked on.The show is going to be fucking shitty anyways." Axl bitched as usual, Slash wouldn't stop snoring. I could hear somebody from the record company, or something talking about the album sells behind me. Everything was so loud. And all I could think about was what would happen when this plane touched down in Los Angeles. My anxiety would be going through the roof If I didn't start drinking about now. Her eyes, her big brown eyes, God she was so beautiful. She just wouldn't leave me alone anymore. I could only question myself as to what she'd do If I just showed up at her door, maybe with tickets to tomorrow's show, maybe I could bring her some flowers. Not Roses- but Lavender, Blue Hydrangeas, Babies Breath and soft, white lilies. Like I bought her on our first date. Would there be anyway in hell she would take me back? Let me make up all my mistakes. If I could have her I'd never touch another bottle of Alcohol, I'd never take another pill, or snort another line of anything. I would go running with her, I would mountain bike with her, I would do anything she wanted too. "Alright passengers, please take your seats and buckle up for safety. As we are about to land." The intercom shut off after the announcement. I buckled up, just as the flight attendant came passing by. "I'm going to end up gettin' thrown out the window, huh, Duff?" Axl laughed, walking back from the airplane bathroom, bright eyed and bushy tailed, obviously been snorting coke. "You just might, Man." I did my best too laugh along. He plopped himself down across the aisle from me and buckled up, before the attendant could say anything. We started to feel the pressure and turbulence as the plane skidded into LAX. "I'm going to slit my own throat If I have to go through baggage claim again." Axl commented leaning over the arm rest. "We're seasoned pros at it now, you might not wanna ride the conveyor belt again and piss off airport security." He grinned like a little child. "Fuck the Man, Duff. Just fuck the fuckin' Man." I kept listening to Axl talk about 'The Man' as the plane landed. We were all escorted by the Geffen people and body guards to the ground and into the large airport. "Mr. Mckagan go on to your car and we'll have your bags out to you once you are finished with everything in here." I nodded at whoever this person was telling me these things. And followed another body guard through the airport. "Hey, Dude. I'll see you tomorrow!" Slash called with his own guard, walking the opposite way as me out the airport side door, I waved back at him, and kept going my own way. My body guard opened the door to the small Stretch Limo and shut the door behind us both, once I was safely inside. I heard what I assumed was the trunk opening and my bags being put in the back, before the guy sitting across from me pounded on the limos middle window, singling we could leave. "Hey, can we make a stop before we go home. I got a couple errands to make."  "Sure thing, where do you need to go?"  "Just a floral shop near Melrose, please." The driver got the message and started course. I was going to win that perfect girl over again if it was the last thing I do.  After the floral shop, where I had picked out her favorites, I was just tipsy enough to go through with this. Something inside me wasn't going to let me go on without giving us a chance again. Her house looked the same, red front door, red and blue flowers lining the walk way. The grass was just tall enough to tickle your ankles. I took one of my black leather gloves off and tapped hard a few times on her front door. My hands were shaking- shaking like I hadn't even had a fucking drink today, I felt like I could drop to my knees right there in a fit of panic and emotions. Then she answered the door, that long, blonde hair tied up perfectly messy, she was bundled up in sweats even in the dead heat. Her brown eyes went wide. "Duff?" My name looked perfect rolling off her pink lips. "Summer, here these are for you." I held the flowers out to her. "What- what's going on?" She was beautiful even when she was so confused. "I am a really bad man, Summer. Fuck- I'm not even a man. I'm a silly little boy, and I realized while being away from you for so long, what an ass I really am. I'm not shit on the pavement without you, Summer." I felt just that, like a little boy. I had big tears in my eyes, she opened and closed her mouth, lost for words. "Duff, sweetie." She finally took the blooming flowers from my grasp. "Fuck, took you long enough." She threw her arms around my body, I did the same and hugged her and kissed her like I never have. I picked her up like a porcelain doll, precious and breakable. "Girl, will you please give me one more fucking chance? I will- honest to fucking God never, ever let you down again. I wouldn't dream of hurting you again. I'm done with Alcohol, I want to get sober for you, for us, but I have to have you with me." Little tears poured out the corners of her eyes. "I've missed the hell out of you, Duff." "I know you have, baby. Let's just pretend I never left at all." She shook her head, I still had her in my arms, cradling her. "I love you Duff!" I put my head in the bend of her neck and whispered, "I love you too." I carried my girl through the threshold and slammed the door behind us. I knew with her back in my arms again the world outside wouldn't matter anymore. There would never be another bottle of vodka in my hands again, she was my safe person. My home is right here with Her.

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