Bring me Ella #JustWriteIt #FreashStart

Chapter Three

when i got home and sat on my couch the tears spilled over. Ericka once said that my heart belonged with his and that was that. How could I believe her when we both walked out? When in one way or another we both hurt each other 4 years ago?

Was i really lying to myself when I said I didn't need him? Or was it the truth?

I cried for what felt like hours. Not sure of what to do or think and for the first time in years I wanted to be back home with my parents. If they were here they could tell me what to do right? They could be sober enough to tell me that?

By the time the tears dried up I had realized that I was super hungry. Getting up to walk to the kitchen I noticed my bag with its contents thrown angrily on my counter. Going over to pick them up I saw the bright blue album front and center. 

Of course the item that stood out the most among the other things. 

I picked it up frustrated and angry at the world when I noticed the piece of paper sticking out from inside the album. Hesitating, I opened it up to see a note had been written, "if you change your mind, call me." was all it said with a phone number written on the top in sloppy cursive. 

Would I be lying to say that I wanted to go? However at the same time I really didn't want to go with him?

After staring at the paper for a solid 45 minutes, without hesitation i dialed the number and as soon as he picked up I gave him my answer. 

"Where are you? I want to go with you."

......................

By the time I got everything situated, Cody had shown up to take me to his first stop- Phoenix Arizona. Which in reality was not that far from where I was living but he insisted that I got on the bus with him. Saying my goodbyes to Ericka and my dog Charlie, I hesitantly climbed onto his tour bus, looking back at what I was leaving behind me. Peace, comfort, what I knew as home I was risking for some guy who I used to know who asked me to come on his tour with him.

Smart thinking Ella, way to go!

............

When we rolled up to our first hotel I was exhausted, I felt the stress and nervousness wave through my body like a tsunami. Thankfully Cody had taken care of the room situation so I was in the clear, no way was I going to be sharing a room with him anytime soon. 

"So Ella, tell me what have you been doing these past few years?'' He asked me, I knew he was being genuine but I went with the 'I hardly know you and don't want to get close with you' response.

"Oh you know, I have a job, hang out with Ericka, that sort of thing." I smiled, "Welp this is my room!" I said almost a little bit to cheerfully. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I just act normal around him for once? We are only friends!

He gave me a smile and set my things down at the door, "Goodnight Ella I-" He stopped himself, but I knew he wanted to say something more. I felt myself slipping into the turtle shell I call being socially awkward, I said goodnight as fast as I could and got inside my room. 

Locking the door I gave an audible sigh. Why did things have to be so.... so... awkward? 

...............

Throwing on my pajamas I plopped myself onto the nice white bed and flipped through all the TV channels before settling on one that I liked. 

Halfway through the movie i felt myself drift off into sleep, every now and then I let myself drift off before i finally scummed to the calling of sleep. 

*Dream* 

Off in the distance I heard a soft knocking on a door, with eagerness i jumped up to answer it, upon seeing it was Cody I gave him a kiss. 

"Welcome home darling, I made you dinner and the girls are upstairs." i smiled, he looked at me and without a word headed up the stairs. 

I was setting the table when I heard the screams. 

I dropped the glass plate and it shattered as I took off up the stairs. The stairs seemed to go on forever even though I knew it was only a few steps before I reached the play room. 

I turned the corner and I heard the scream, rather... I made the sound of the scream. There laid Cody and our youngest daughter limp in his arms. 

She was drained of color and lifeless, I couldn't make out what he was saying but I knew he was pushing the other girl towards me, he disappeared soon after rushing down the stairs and into the car. 

After that the world went dark. Nothing was right or normal. 

*end dream*

I woke up in a cold sweat, almost panting at the dream that I had just had. Was the dream a guilt dream? It couldn't have been it wasn't my child that had died-

I laid back down and tried to get some more rest, but had never been able to drift back into the peaceful sleep I was sort of having. So there I laid in wait for the sun to rise, and breakfast to be ready.

.............