KD's Story

Chapter XXXV

"I'll always love you KD. There is a life for you after I'm gone."

"But we are supposed to get married. Travel the world. We still have our lives ahead of us."

"You have your life ahead of you KD. Mines over with. You'll learn to love again and live until you're a good old age. Don't worry about me. I'm fine right here."

"This cant be. This has to be a dream!"

"Somewhat. I guess you can call it that."

"Will you hold me?"

"I'm already gone."

"But if this is a dream, you could hold me."

"I guess I can for now. Come here my once was."

"Why would you say such a thing?"

"Because I told you. My life is complete. Yours is yet to live. You have years ahead of you yet."

"But how am I to go on without you?"

"It will be hard. But I believe in you. It will be one of the hardest things to do. But I know you can accomplish the task."

"What's the hardest thing that I'll have to endure?"

"Saying goodbye to me. Letting me go and falling in love with someone else."

"I dont want to say goodbye!"

"Eventually. You'll have to. Believe me it's not by my choice. But because you are strong enough and have to finish out your life."

"Read that diary. Go back to the basics as you started from when you move here. Before everything got busy. Before you started making all of that money, and yes. Before you met me. You will have J, Reese, Dest, and Jenn took look to when you need uplifting. But dont you dare push them out of your life! Let them help you grow. Let them be your support system. Just let them be there. You'll need fam. More then ever. Be there for your dad. Not only will you need him, but he needs you too."

We just set there in nothing land holding onto each other. Me weeping as she held me for the last time. One million thoughts racing as I tried to understand the events that were flooding my dream- nightmares. Knowing well in the back of my mind that this was reality. That this is far from a nightmare. Tears build up in my eyes as they stung until the flood gate was let down and a river rushed onward as Neenah held me in those last moments. Knowing that anytime now I would be brought back without her and no chance I'll see my love on ther otherside. She will be left and I will be once again in the land of the living as my whole being. My soul, happiness, love and everything in between will be ripped to shreds. Unknown if the fabric of me could ever be stitched back again. I would then know how it would be to live truly alone. No love. No warmth. My light is extinguished for all eyernity as reality will pass day by day only for me to exist with the value of nothing.

"Dont think like that. I might not physically be there with and for you, but I will be in spirit. I'll see you fall in love again. I will see you get married. I'll be there for everything. You must carry on. You must continue to grow. You must conquer this."

I couldn't move. I wanted to stay with her. I wanted nothing more.

"I will walk you to the other side. I will see you wake up."

Somehow I started floating toward a door as she followed. Once I reached it she said her last goodbye. She held and kissed me for the last time. Until it all faded away and I had awoken.
Dazed with confusion, I called out to Neenah. No answer. I called out again. Still, nothing. I opened my eyes to discover myself in a hospital bed.

"Wheres Neenah? What happened?"

I heard a sigh of relief as someone stood up and walked towards me then hugged me. "Oh Neenah. I had this terrible nightmare. "

The voice that spoke was not of Neenah. I opened my eyes once more to see Destiny hugging me.

"I'll go get your father."

I watched curiously as she stood up and leave the room. Moments later dad steps in with a long face, yet so happy to see me awake.

"I love you. You were involved in an accident. A trucker's air brakes had failed as it rolled through a red light impacting the drivers side door."

"Hows Neenah? Where is Neenah?"

I watch as my dad collapsed at my bedside with tears as he looked down. All he could do is shake his head.

"No!"

I yelled over and over.dad tried to comfort me as he held me. I was soar but buried my face into his chest as he held me for a very long time.

"You were in a coma for two weeks. We had I nice memorial for her and had her cremated. I'll pick up the urn later tomorrow. I'll bring it to you if you want me to."

"Yes. I want her here with me."

We held each other again as we both wept. The days passed and I was finally ready to be released. Dad drove us home and I went up to my room. I picked up one of Neenah's unwashed night shirts and held it as I laid in bed on her side. I started to cry as the memories of us swept over me. Like the time she and i first met at the diner. I was instantly attracted to her. All the times we just went riding just to ride. The times we would cuddle each other and watch Tim Burton films all day. The way she used to hold me as we played down for the night. I cried and cried holding her night shirt against me. The cold started to settle in what's now just my room, but I didn't care how cold it got. I didn't want to move. I didn't feel nothing in my heart but lonely emptiness. Then I fell into a slumber.