Just in case || Draco Malfoy

Fifty Four - Alive

"I love you with every piece of me.
I will love and love and love
until I have nothing left
And then I will make more out of the nothing that lives where everything once did."

-Tyler Knott Gregsom

...

"Sweetheart, are you ok?"

No. Not in the slightest.

"Mother I'm fine" I replied to her, grasping her hand as I sat with her on the sofa in front of the blazing fire. I had told her the truth. Partially. I didn't tell her of Malfoy Manor. My parents were under the impression that I hadn't left the school once.

"What can we do?" My father asked.

"You can't do anything. If you try and do anything, they will kill you. Snape, the other death eaters. We have no choice but to wait"

"Surely we can contact the ministry-"

"Mother you know who runs it at this point. You would only be putting yourself in danger if you went to them- wait. Surely you know?" I questioned knowing that they were workers.

"We were sacked" my father replied. "We wrote to you. I assume you weren't given any letters"

"No" I said. I had received their letters but not for the past few weeks. "How are you coping? Without jobs?" I asked.

"We had enough to keep us going for a while. We should for the next few months. I don't know why we didn't realise the school had been taken over. I mean, why else wouldn't you be writing to us?"

His words reminded me of what Draco had said. He would write to me. I pray he was ok - I didn't even entertain the idea that he had been hurt. It made me feel too ill to imagine it.

...

"We haven't had any of them come here so far. Death eaters, I mean. Your mother and I feared that they would, but I don't think they see us as significant"

My fathers words dug a pit in my stomach. I knew that they would be looking for me. It was the next day - still nothing from Draco. My insides constantly felt like they were being churned and stretched, the dread of me being found here by you know who constantly on my mind.

We lived far from any other buildings - a ten minute drive into the town that lay away from the house. It was similar to Draco's in the way that it was surrounded by fields and forestry, the same grounds that I had roamed last summer.

I had lay been in that night, sleep out of the question. My parents were under the impression we were safe out here - though I knew we weren't. I knew that if they got even a hint at where I was, they would come for my throat and I was certain my parents too.

I sat on the wooden chair beneath my open window, my breath fogging up from the cold midnight air, searching the sky for a flicker of anything that moved, praying it wasn't a person but an owl clutching a letter from Draco. I didn't care what it said, as long as I knew he was alive.

I traced the band that was wrapped around my thumb. I swore to myself I would never lose it no matter what. I still wore the necklace. Every moment I had I wore it, playing with the charm and being reminded of that short time me and Draco had together. Before I knew about any of this. Where I could be with him with no worries.

But of course now everything has changed.

...

It had been three days since I escaped the school. Nothing from Draco. The anxiousness consumed me, the image of him being killed for betrayal constantly plaguing my mind.

I hadn't left the house. The risk of being seen by anyone I didn't want to be was far too high. I stayed cooped up within the walls of my house, staring out of the window each night until the early hours of the morning when I couldn't bear to keep my eyes open for another second, searching the sky endlessly for an owl to inform me that Draco was still alive.

I comforted myself with the idea that they were focusing on finding Harry instead of punishing Draco. I assumed that they had escaped - they had
all been disarmed by the trio and the house elf, them having the advantage. I knew that house elves could apparate between places even if they had charms on them to prevent it.

Besides, if he had of been captured, he would of been killed. And we hadn't received news of anything like that - my parents only drove to the town to get us food and from what they saw, there was no news of him being caught which we were sure there would have been.

...

"Helena.

I'm safe. I'm sorry I didn't write. Don't respond. Harry and the others escaped with the house elf. They haven't found them yet. I can't write much, I will write each night. I love you forever,

Draco"

It had arrived in the middle of the night - a snowy white owl I saw soaring across the sky, leaning out of my window on the chance that the owl was for me. And it was.

The relief I felt from my chest was like breathing again after being submerged in water - I was finally able to have my mind slightly at peace knowing he was alive, even if he wasn't safe. He was alive.

I hid the letter under my mattress - I couldn't let my parents find it. They would know about Malfoy Manor and I couldn't let them worry like that. I despised myself for putting them in such danger, but I had nowhere else to go. This was the safest place I could think of, yet it still was incredibly risky.

I immediately ran over to my desk taking out a piece of parchment - I withdrew my hand when I realised I couldn't write back. It must be risky enough as it is for him to write to me, I didn't want to put him in any more danger than he was already in. I cursed under my breath placing the parchment back in the draw.

I feared so much for my parents. I considered leaving. Leaving to make sure that they weren't being hunted down by the death eaters. But I had no where to go - I had hardly any money of my own, all our money having to be spent on necessities now that my parents didn't have their income coming from the ministry. I suppose it was a good thing though - that they were no longer working beneath you know who.

I stayed awake the whole night then. Just on the odd chance that Draco would send another letter. I prayed and prayed that he did, any more news from him would make me feel so much better. But as the horizon turned orange with the sunrise, I still saw no owls that night.

...