Just in case || Draco Malfoy

Seven - Dark Circles

"We shouldn't be this kind of tired at our age"
-j,b

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Time in Hogwarts, no matter how much homework, how many essays we had, how many detentions- time in Hogwarts was always entertaining. From the magical creatures to the talking paintings, the friendly ghosts to the amazing staff, even on my worst days, I would rather be at Hogwarts than my house.

The days always flew by, learning of the secrets of the magical world and spending time in the breath taking castle. The following few weeks, I spent revising for my end of year exams - I didn't mind. I enjoyed learning about the beauty of magic.

All the times I was down, the sheer magic of the building that was Hogwarts never failed to lift my spirits and replace my sadness with joy.

The same couldn't be said for Draco Malfoy.

After his outburst, we avoided each other. Over the weeks, he was becoming less and less of a cruel person to me and seemingly to others. However, his decline in cruelness was not made up for in him being kind. It was simply because he avoided every person who tried to contact him, even Blaise.

He seemed constantly paranoid, as if he was being watched. Most of the time we spent together with our friends, he was either silent or agitated. I wasn't happy about his presence and neither were the others. The only one willing to tolerate him was Blaise, but even he wasn't speaking with Draco. He would simply come and sit down next to him and refuse to speak to anyone, casting the rest of us into an uncomfortable silence. He was unconcerned that his presence made us uncomfortable. None of us would see him for hours on end, but then he would join us again with no explanation as to why he disappeared. Any time he was questioned (often by Blaise as he was the only one who wished to speak to him), he would go into a fit of annoyance with them but would leave the room before he lost his temper.

He was constantly drained. The two months he had been at Hogwarts, he couldn't of been getting more than an hour of twos sleep every night. His skin had a greyish tint to it, giving off the appearance that he wasn't quite living but not quite dead.

His eyes always seemed puffy and tired and the dark circles under them never ceased. He dragged himself along to his lessons and slumped himself in his seat, but speaking throughout the lesson once, before disappearing for a few hours again.

I had asked him once why he was in such a state. It was several weeks after Hogsmeade and I decided it had been a long enough time since our dispute for me to speak to him. He didn't answer me or fly into a rage like he did so with everyone else. He instead just ignored me and left the common room to lock himself in his dorm. I don't know why I expected anything different after his comment about me sticking my nose in his business.

The first few weeks of our school year, he didn't seem too bad. He did seem like something was plaguing his mind, but he was no where near how he was now.

After a month, I slowly started to try and speak to him again. I wasn't interested in a friendship but my intrigue as to what was wrong with him overpowered my will to ignore him. In time, we had several more outings to hogsmeade together and had worked on school essays in the common room together. We still hardly spoke but it was miles more interaction than it had been. It was more than a month after Hogsmeade when he finally spoke to me again.

"Can we stop?"

"What." I responded mundanely. We were studying in the common room together. I say together - the six of us were there but the other four were trying to answer one particularly difficult homework question for muggle studies, something neither me nor Draco had taken up.

"Look. I know we aren't going to be friends. And I know you don't like me and I can't critique you for that. But quite frankly I can't be bothered carrying on despising each other." I looked up at him, slightly dumbfounded at what he was saying. "I don't have the energy for it and I'm sure you don't either. We aren't going to be friends but at least we can be civil.

I looked to him. The others were still working on the question.

"Come with me," I said. I didn't want to have this conversation in the common room where anyone could listen. I stood up and walked in the direction of the kitchen. I didn't look back at the others or check to see he was following me. However when I made it to the kitchen, I turned and he was close behind me.

"What is it with you?" I said harshly, leaning against the counter and folding my arms.

"You're gonna have to be a bit more specific," he said. He didn't have his usual sarcastic tone. He sounded genuinely inquisitive.

"Ok then. Why is it you think it's perfectly fine to be completely horrid to me for two years and then one day just switch up and decide you want to be friends?"

"I didn't say friends. I said civil." I continued my harsh glare at him. "And you weren't exactly the nicest person ever in Hogsmeade were you?"

"Which I had every right not to be after two years of non stop insults!" I said slightly louder than I had intended.

"Okay okay just-," he looked around the empty kitchen to check no one had heard my outburst. "Like I said," he continued. "We both don't like each other and I get that. But just all... this. It's draining. I can't be bothered with it si can we please just be civil? You don't have to like me and I don't expect you to just-" he paused. He turned away from me. I could tell he was seconds away from walking away.

"Why can't we be friends?" I asked him. I was almost shocked at the words leaving my own mouth. He let out what sounded like a scoff, still turned away from me.

"I said we can be civil, you don't need to act like you want to be friends."

"Draco I wouldn't be opposed to it if you stopped being such an ass all the time."

He continued to face away from me. It felt strange to say but it was true I guess. He was constantly around us anyway, when he didn't disappear for several hours. If he stopped with the mockery and insults then I had no issue with spending time with him. I would go as far as to say friends but I didn't see it as likely.

"Fine," he said after a few moments turning back towards me.

"Fine?"

"I'll stop being such an ass." I let out a scoff similar to the one he let out earlier.

"Now come on. I was shocked when you said you wanted to be civil but this is crossing the line." I never thought I would hear such words leave his mouth.

"Well how about this," he said stepping towards me. "I'm sorry." I was quite literally taken aback by what he was saying. I looked at him in silence for a few moments. He let out what almost looked like a smile. I had t seen such emotion come from him since last year. "Yep. I'm sorry ok? I know I'm an ass. You know it too. But like I said before I don't even have the energy to carry on with it. So can we please be civil?"

It didn't feel as though I was talking to Draco at all. It felt as though it was a different person and I genuinely considered the idea that this was an imposter with polyjuice potion at first.

But I agreed. I couldn't tell you why, but I agreed.

Those were one of the last moments we spent together before he took a turn for the worst. After that, there were no more times when we studied together or talked in the common room. Whatever it was on his mind, from that point on it consumed him.

His eyes always seemed to be filled with worry and he was no longer the witty boy with snappy comebacks that he was last year. He had even laid off insulting Potter - he seemed too busy thinking about something else to think of insults for him or for anyone for that matter.

He would speak to no one about what was clearly on his mind, not even Blaize his closest friend. Any time I asked if he wanted to study with me, he would come up with an excuse. He no longer came on any trips to hogsmeade that Blaize invited him on, no matter who came.

He was drowning. I could tell. But I didn't know why. I was desperate to find out.

...