safe | l.h.

fourteen

"oh, it's alright, i know you love me half of the time, oh, just my luck, half of the time is just enough" - Someway, Somehow / Dreamers

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-Luke-

When I woke up the next morning, Violet was in the shower, leaving me alone in bed. The night before had been brutal, and it had been a long time since we had gone that long without talking to each other. It didn't feel right by any means, but I also knew that I wasn't ready to let go of how upset I was just yet.

After waiting around for almost twenty minutes and not hearing the water shut off, I decided I needed to go out and get some air. I quickly jotted down a note and left it on the table next to the bed, just letting Violet know I was going to be out for a while. Even if I was angry with her, I wasn't going to make her worry for no reason.

I made my way down to the lobby and stepped out into the cold morning air, giving my body a minute to adjust to the shock. It was fairly quiet, and there weren't too many people walking around the resort this early. It was exactly what I needed to try and clear my head.

A small part of me did feel bad for upsetting Violet in any way, but I knew that this had gotten way out of hand. I was just trying to do something nice and romantic for the two of us, and somehow even that was the wrong thing to do. I knew by now that Violet was the kind of person who needed to be in control, and her outburst was just because she was feeling more and more lately like she didn't have any control. Even with that in mind, I wasn't ready to just up and forget about the fight entirely.

I heard some voices breaking through the still air, and looked over to see a family skating around on the frozen pond. I slowly walked over, keeping a distance and trying not to intrude. I watched the mom take her small daughter's hand and start slowly dragging her alongside her. After they had been going for a while, she let go of the daughter's hand, and started cheering loudly when she continued skating around steadily.

I smiled beside myself, as I often did when I saw families with their young kids lately. I was starting to envision my own life like that, when a voice brought me back into reality, "At this rate, we think she's got to be bound for the Olympics."

I jumped a little, turning to my side to see a man I had never met standing next to me. I quickly realized he was the father, and my eyes widened a little, "I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to stare or anything. It's just nice to see a family so... Happy."

He chuckled lightly and shook his head, "No worries. If I had been concerned, I wouldn't have been nearly as friendly to you as I'm being now."

I nodded, feeling my eyes trailing back to the pond again. Before I could get lost in my own thoughts for a second time, the man spoke again, "Do you have kids of your own?"

"My fiance, she's pregnant. It was a bit unexpected, to say the least."

He nodded, "Yeah, you seemed a bit young to already have children on the brain. I guess that makes sense."

I shrugged, "I mean, I certainly never saw myself having a kid so soon, so quickly. I can't say that I have my life all put together right now, and I always figured I would wait until I did. But... I don't know. I get this feeling all the time lately like this is the best thing that could have happened to me. I may not have it all figured out right now, but I feel like I'm ready. I'm ready to raise a baby with someone I love so deeply, and I know I'm going to love that kid so goddamn much."

I snapped back to reality, feeling my cheeks flushing a little bit at my rambling. I cleared my throat, "Sorry, I don't know why I just said all that to a total stranger."