Shy From The Spotlight - Alexander Hamilton x Reader

Forty-Nine

I finished dinner quickly. Ever since I drew that piece about Alexander, I have been down. Gloomy. "May I be excused?" I asked mother. She nodded. "Meet me in the study." Oh no. I nodded and set my plate in the kitchen before heading upstairs. I entered the study and sat down on the comfy armchair.

The study was large. It was only oak wood. Two out of the four walls were bookcases; the one you see when you enter, across from the door, and the one to the right. The one to the left was mainly a window. The one with the door had framed papers and portraits.

The floor was hardwood, the three armchairs black leather. The desk where father sat, the side he sat closer to the window, was neat. It had a few stacked books, a bible, some parchment, and some quills and ink.

I tapped my foot on the wood floor. What did I do to end up in here? Most families, when a child was in trouble, sent them to their rooms to get spoken to later, or even outside. The Schuyler house? You get sent to the study.

Did I leave something out? Did I say something? I debated my options. I heard the door click open and made myself presentable.

"Hello mother." I said as she sat across from me, in father's chair. "What's eating at you, daughter?" She asked. She only called me daughter when she was worried or serious. "Nothing, why do you ask?" I said innocently. She rolled her eyes.

"I know when one of my children is upset." She remarked. I sighed. "Just the wedding." I said. She tilted her head. "Oh, mine!" I quickly lied. She made a face of understanding. "I see." She said. "Yeah, I'm worried. What if I mess up and C/N calls it off?" I asked, voicing my real concerns.

She nodded. "Y/N, how can you think that?" I blinked. "C/N adores you. He would rather die that call it off." I blushed. Was she serious? "Honestly, I would rather die than call it off too." I admitted. She grinned. "And I bet he is worrying the same things you are!" She said. I gave her a small smile and nodded.

"You sure that's all that's eating at you?" She asked. I nodded, mentally shaking my head. She gave me a small smile and we stood. "Goodnight my sweet." She said, walking over to kiss my forehead. "Goodnight mother." I said softly. I hugged her before leaving. I went to my room, entering quickly.

I shut my door and changed into my nightgown. Instead of laying on my bed, I dragged my vanity chair, silently, to the window and sat down. I grabbed my cloak that was nearby and put it on for decency.

I opened my window vastly and propped myself on my elbows. I wanted the small, twinkling stars, listened to the rustling leaves. I heard the chatter from the city, smelled the scent from the flowers and grass. I shut my eyes as I inhaled the winter air, exhaling slowly. I opened my eyes.

I played with my H/C hair and found shapes in the stars. A mutt chasing a bone, a fish. Some flowers. I once read a book about different embodiments of God in the stars. Poseidon, God's water embodiment. Zeus, God's main embodiment. Of course, if mother ever knew I read a book about more than one God, I would be in so much trouble. Not that I believed in multiple Gods. It was just a good book.

I looked to the distant city. It was bright for this time of night, people late night chatting. I heard a few barks of a dog and giggled. I heard some music playing and hummed along, shutting my eyes again. I kept my eyes shut as I hummed and bobbed my head.

The wind seemed to blow the music to me. The leaves rustled with the tune, some insects buzzing with the rhythm. Birds chirped and sang in company with the insects. Nature was my symphony, and I was the only audience. My own private viewing.

The beat of a drum pounded, my hum getting louder. A guitar strung along, a man singing incoherently. His singing was wonderful, I just couldn't make out the words over my private symphony.

I started tapping my thumbs to the beat as well. I smiled and listened more. Right now, in this moment, I felt angelic peace. Like not a worry in the world existed. I wanted to scream in joy, like not a soul could hear me. I imagined like I was in the middle of the ocean, the salt water engulfing my senses. It really did, since the sea was so close.

I tapped my feet and listened as my skirts rustled. Listen. That's all I wanted to do. Listen to the water, music. To nature and my private symphony.

And so I did.