Shy From The Spotlight - Alexander Hamilton x Reader

Fifty-Four

I collapse to the ground and cry in C/N's father's arms. I sob and he holds me. "Oh my dear." He said, stuttering from tears. "He-He died!" I cried. He nodded to me and I sniffled.

Reality comes back to me and I can hear and feel again. My family and friends are walking up, my face is soaked in tears. C/N isn't here.

I feel my body lock up and I give out a shaky breath. "He will be okay, my dear." He says. I just nod, though I don't mean it. I don't know if I fully believe that C/N will make it. He drowned, died, bled out from his head, was brought back, and now had to make the terrible journey to Boston.

I wanted to stand, but couldn't. I just looked at him. His eyes looked so much like C/N's. He brushed some hair from my face and I loosened up. I stood and helped him up.

I wiped away my tears and faced my family. I looked to Elizabeth, realizing a horrible truth. She probably went through my thoughts every day with Alexander at war. I was being pathetic right? I sighed and shook my head. "I'm fine." I whispered to myself. I repeated my statement before facing C/N's father.

I hugged him and he sighed. "I'll be fine, dear." He said, though I wasn't convinced. I fake nodded and he gave me a sad smile. I kissed his cheek before turning and striding for my family.

"Are you alright?" Elizabeth asked softly. I gave her a weak smile. "All things considered, yeah. I'm alright." I said, a crack in my voice. I brushed the hair from my face and turned the opposite direction from home.

"Erm, Y/N? Home is that way." John said carefully. I gave an airy laugh. "You all want to go back into the crowd that I was just running through sobbing?" I asked, trying to lighten up.

They all shook their heads. "Follow me. This is a back way." I said. They gave me confused looks but followed me as I started walking.

* *

We were home in half the time. I headed straight for my room, locking the door. I had a letter to write. I went to my dresser and grabbed my supplies. I sat in front of my vanity, everything in its spot, and dipped my quill.

Dear Alexander,
I am sorry for not responding to previous letters. I haven't been able to figure out what to say. I just got some news; C/N was in an accident. He died but was brought back and now is heading to Boston to seek proper treatment. I haven't been this...distant...since the attack from the Redcoats. Why does awful things happen? Do you, having been to war and most likely seen death because of it, know what to do? Know how to remain calm and at ease? Any help is wonderful.
My Sincerest,
Y/F/N Schuyler

This was the most romantic letter I have ever written to Alexander and it wasn't even romantic. It was more of a cry for help. I sealed the letter inside the envelope and dripped maroon wax. I pressed my personal seal before standing. I set the letter aside and looked outside. It was only an hour past lunch.

I paced my room, trying to keep my worried thoughts at bay. I scowled and stomped a foot. There was a knock and I almost screamed 'Go away!' when the person whispered, "Y/N?"

I rushed to the door and unlocked it. I opened it and Cornelia ran in. I shut the door and crouched before her. She had tears.

"Oh 'Nelia." I said softly, hugging her. She hiccuped. "W-Will C-C/N be al-alright?" She asked. I nodded. "Yes, he will be ok!" I promised. Why did I do that?! How can I promise that?! She sniffled into my shoulder as I lifted her up.

"You want to write him a letter?" I asked. She sniffled again and nodded. "Wait, I can't write." She said sadly. I sat her in my vanity and grabbed my quill. "I'll write for you." I said. She nodded and I dipped the ink.

"Dear C/F/N...." She looked to me. "What's his last name?" She whispered. "C/L/N." I whispered back. She nodded.

"Dear C/F/N C/L/N, are you okay?" She asked. I wrote it down. "I heard what happened and hope you are safe. Y/N is..." I forced myself to not look at her as she searched for the words. "Y/N is worried most." I smiled and wrote it down. "We all are worried sick. We can only pray for you." She said, obviously trying to use bigger words. I watched as she read a Princeton letter I left out.

"I am..." She frowned. "H...ee...ad...me....ah...st...r? About this situation." I looked at the word she was examining. Headmaster!? I fought a laugh and, instead, scribbled down I am concerned about this situation.

She gave me a proud smile. I nodded and she beamed. "Yours...seenseerallee?" Sincerely. "Cornelia." She said brightly. I scratched down the correct words, putting my own note.

P.S. C/N, I promise to care for your father. Love,
Y/F/N Schuyler

I shut the envelope and sealed it with purple, Cornelia's favorite color, wax and sealed it with the family seal. "Better?" I asked. She nodded. "Better."