Shy From The Spotlight - Alexander Hamilton x Reader

One Hundred And Two

We spent all day decorating! We used fancy papers and helped the servants change the chandelier and candelabrums, changed the curtains and throw pillows around the house. We changed our tablecloth and put up more seasonal paintings. The boys even went out and got a tall pine tree!

We all took turns putting on small glass orbs on the tree's branches. "Y/N." I looked down at Catharine, who was tugging my dress. She pointed to the top of the tree and I looked to the small green orb in her hand.

I smiled and bent over, immediately locking up and wincing. My cuts stung a lot more right now for some reason. I hissed as I stood straight backed. "Sorry Caty, I can't." I said, disappointed in myself. She looked me over quickly before silently hobbling off to Angelica.

I sighed and stepped back, slowly and painfully taking a seat on the sofa.

I watched longingly as everyone laughed and giggled as they decorated the new tree. God, how I wanted to join them and have fun.

"Hey," I jumped and hissed under my breath. I slowly looked over to find John sitting beside me. "Hey," I said quietly. He sat down beside me and sighed. "I know you're not okay." He said.

I blinked and craned my neck to look at him better. He looked to me and our eyes locked.

"What?" I mumbled. He nodded, silver lining the bottom of his eyes. "I know you are not okay. I know you're in pain, I know you're hurt emotionally and mentally. I know you are lying when you say 'I'm okay,'"

I was about to argue, but he went on.

"And that's okay. It's okay you're dealing with pain. It's okay you can't lift Catharine or sit without hurting. It's not okay what they did to you, but it's okay for you to deal with it."

Tears fell from my eyes as John spoke. "Oh Johnny." I sobbed quietly, pulling him into a hug. My cuts stung badly but I ignored the pain.

He wrapped his arms around me and took a shaky breath. "Please let me help you." He whispered raspily into my ear. I sniffled and nodded. "Alright." I murmured. He gave me a light squeeze before letting go.

I've both wiped our eyes and cheeks and I collected myself.

I opened my mouth to say something when I heard "Done!"

We both turned and gasped.

The tree was glittering and sparkling with golden ribbons and dozens of differently colored orbs. Strings of popcorn some servants formed spiraled the green branches, the occasional cranberry showing.

"It's beautiful." I breathed. The tree glistened in the candle light as Cornelia walked over to me, something behind her back.

Everyone quieted as she extended a large golden star to me. It was just a beautiful as the tree! Detailed, flower-based designs glittered with silver hints and gold bases. I slowly and carefully accepted it, only to disappoint myself.

"I-I can't." I said quietly. Everyone gave a confused look and John saved me. "Her injuries." He said softly. I looked down at my skirts, avoiding their gazes.

I heard somebody clap their hands together. "Not an issue!" Harry said as he walked towards me. I extended the star to him, but he didn't take it. Instead, he stooped down and picked me up bridal-style. I laughed in confusion. "What are you doing?"

He set me down to a stand before making me face the tree. He looked to me. "May I gently grab you waist?" He asked. I nodded and he gripped my hips, hoisting me up just enough so I could place the star.

I smiled and used both hands to place the star. Harry did a small spin as he lowered me. The second my feet touched the floor I spun around and hugged him. He rested his chin atop my head and I let out a small, pathetic noise.

I'm broken. I'm broken and hurt and can't contribute to the family or to my friends right now, but they are accustoming life to bend to my too many needs.

The star was such a small thing, but it meant the world to me. Even though I did practically nothing, it gave me a hint of accomplishment.

I silently let go of Harry and wiped my tears away. My head started to slightly throb and I scrunched my eyes shut. I pressed the palm of my hand to the side of my forehead as the throbbing worsened.

"You alright, Y/N?" I heard Washington ask. I opened my mouth to answer but nothing came out.

My skin heated until it felt like I was on fire. "Argh!!" I shouted, pressing both hands to my head. "Mademoiselle!" Monsieur Lafayette exclaimed as I staggered back into him. I took a step forward before collapsing onto my knees.

Pain shot through me as my head pounded with pain, both sharp and prolonged. Tears stung my eyes as the people around me sprung into action. "Get water!" Mother shouted frantically. Whoever ran to the kitchen, their footsteps rang in my head like an incessant bell in my ear.

"Gah!" I yelped, pressing one of my palms to my ear. Beads of sweat formed and ran down my forehead as I felt lightheaded.

"H-Help," I rasped as Alexander poked into my thin line of view. He blurted and refocused in my vision as black poked at the edge of my eyes. "It's alright, Y/N." He said, voice panicked.

"I got the water!" Captain's voice said. That was the last thing I heard before I fainted.