All There Is

1.Hannah

Smells Like Teen Spirit // Nirvana

The lot - Spring of Senior year

The music is loud. The bass is pumping and pulsing. The crowd is bouncing along with it. The way the sound systems are all synced up in the surrounding cars gives me the sense that the music is closing in on me.

I need to take a breather.

Leaning over to my cousin Jeff, I shout into his ear so he can hear me over the music. "I need a drink of water!" Jeff looks at me and nods, leaning in to reply.

"I'm coming with you!"

I roll my eyes. He's worse than my dad. "Fine, whatever." I push my way past the throng of teenagers pressed together and dancing against each other, Jeff on my tail. When we both break out of the cluster, he takes my arm and steers me over to his car.

"Jeez, Jeff! I can walk without you holding me up, you know."

"I'm aware. But you don't know these guys like I do. Trust me, I need to keep an eye on you." We reach his car and Jeff finally unhands me. "I'm an idiot for letting you talk me into this. The Lot is no average high school party."

I glance around. "Duh." It's like an underground rave in the parking lot of the high school Jeff attends. He told me all about it when our families took our annual camping trip together and I've been obsessed ever since. The way the lot is set back against a thick grove of trees and obscured from the street creates the perfect cover for the sound and lights. Jeff's football gang, as I refer to them, figured out how to take the Lot parties to the next level by surrounding the party area with their cars and syncing up the music. A few of the guys scored the beer and a legend was born.

It's the best kept secret in Fallbrook Hills. All of the kids at Jefferson High in North Fallbrook know about it, but the cross-town school where I attend, Miller High, is completely in the dark. I've been sworn to secrecy by my highly paranoid cousin in order to attend. My lips are sealed. Honestly, I wouldn't want anyone I know to have a clue I've been to anything like this. I'll chalk it up to morbid curiosity and try to forget all about it. It's pretty horrifying, every single teenage cliché is present, and I want nothing to do with any of them. Girls grinding up against anyone walking by. Guys trashed on cheap beer. Group make-out sessions. Groping.

Gross.

It really is too much and I'm sad for the kids that think this is the ultimate good time. I was one of them, I guess, until I got a taste of the real thing. It's one giant STD waiting to happen.

I grab a water from Jeff's trunk and gulp half of it in one go. I'm sweating from dancing. That part wasn't too bad, and I might even dive back in for round two. I love music and dancing so at least I can enjoy it while I'm here.

A few heated voices are audible as the music dies down between songs. Jeff and I look over to see a couple of his friends in an angry stare off. Pete, I recognize from hanging out at Jeff's house. He's on the football team with my cousin. He's cute with his messy black hair and dimples, but he's kind of a jerk. The other guy is not someone I know. He's tall, sandy blonde hair, and totally wasted.

"Oh shit," Jeff mutters. "I need to check on him."

He takes a few steps over to the guys and I follow. More morbid curiosity, I guess. As we get closer, I remember seeing the mystery guy when Jeff and I arrived. The girl he showed up with turned around and left him here almost immediately. I have no idea why, but I remember feeling sorry for the guy for getting dumped publicly. I'm sure that's why he's trashed now.

"Matt, what the fuck are you doing? Stop spilling your beer all over my paint job!" Pete is shouting at the guy--Matt. Matt just smiles and slurs something about having a good time. Jeff and I stop a couple of feet from them. Pete has his arm around a girl who keeps running her hand up under his shirt. Matt is leaning on Pete's car.