All There Is

1.Matt

American Woman // Lenny Kravitz

I slip into my car and curse as my knees hit the steering wheel. That girl must be pretty short with the way the seat is all the way forward. I never got a good look at her height, too busy trying to keep my focus off of her tits with that flimsy little top she had on.

I push the seat back with more force than I should but who fucking cares. I have a raging headache, and thanks to the hot af angry girl whose bed I woke up in, a raging hard on. Two things that should never be experienced at the same time. I shove the key fob in the ignition and start the car. But I can't bring myself to pull out of her driveway just yet.

My eyes scan the front of Hannah's house trying desperately to remember something from last night. She lives in a modest house, kind of like my ex-girlfriend's. Her cousin Jeff, my buddy who neglected to mention he had a hot as fuck cousin, lives in my neighborhood. His family has funds, lots of them. Hannah's must do okay, but nothing like ours. I wonder if her family life is happier without all of the bullshit money brings.

I scoff and shake my head, because here I am driving the fruit of all of that bullshit.

Without getting any flashes of recognition, I throw the gearshift into reverse and pull away from her house. Hannah was a total ballbuster this morning. I smile a little at her parting speech before hiding away from me in some part of the house. Something about saving me from a disease and keeping me alive.

She's fucking right. If I was as fucked up as I think, I would have ended up doing something stupid. Well, more stupid than what I did. Hannah was spot on, saying she saved my ass. She really did. I should be grateful. I should be kissing her ass.

Ha. That brings some visuals to mind. I'd love nothing more than to kiss that ass, and then some. Hannah really is hot as fuck. But she's Jeff's cousin and he will more than likely kill me for the little interaction I've already had with her. I need to wipe her from my thoughts. Zap, memory erased.

But a flash of her tiny sleep shorts and those smooth legs rolls across my mind and I know I'm completely fucked where this girl is concerned.

I pull up to a stop sign and try to get my bearings. I should pull over and open my maps to see where I am. When I pick up my phone, I see its dead. Perfect. I hope it died before I could send any more pathetic drunk texts to Amber. I was an asshole to her when we were together, and I've been such a fucked up mess since breaking up with her.

She's done with me and I need to get that through my head. I need to move on. I need to let her be. I need to forget that she's the reason I saw myself for who I really am, and for who I'm really like.

A left turn and then a right and I finally recognize where I am. Middle of town. Hannah lives in the fucking center of Fallbrook. I wondered if she was in the next town over but no such luck. I want out of this town. Away from everything and everyone who has defined me this far. I don't need anything tying me back here, especially a girl.

The rest of the drive back home makes me sick. Sicker than I was when I woke up. My dad is home. If I wasn't in last night's clothes, I wouldn't bother going home at all today. Although, they are clean thanks to Hannah. But I'm a fucking wreck so hanging with Jeff is out. I don't want him to know where I spent the night, anyway. Pete isn't even an option. I don't know what crawled up his ass this year, but he isn't the friend I've known since second grade. He's been a huge dick to me all year and I have no idea why.

Looks like I got back at him with that little gift I left on the hood of his car. I wanted to laugh when Hannah told me that part of last night's story. Probably the only good thing to come out of my drunken escapades. I can't drink like that anymore. I don't want to walk around with memory loss. I don't want to be the Lot joke, and I'm sure that's what I am this morning. People talk, like I told Hannah, especially about me.