Come over

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I lay in bed trying to clear my head, scrolling through tik tok. I've been here for three hours now, my mind racing with today's events.

I know where my blade is, I could just-

NO!
No!
No.

I think for a second, trying to think of something else, anything else, then I get and idea.
Why didn't this come to mind earlier?

I go to snapchat and find our conversation. I chuckle a bit sadly at the name I put for him.
"My Distraction"

I text him.

Me:
You busy?

My Distraction:
No its 2am why?

Me:
Come over

My Distraction:
Idk y/n my house mate keep asking questions

Me:
I said come over

My Distraction:
...

I'm getting a bit impatient while I wait for hom to reply. Seriously, stop being a pussy and climb out you damn window.

I walk over to my window and open it, looking across the way at his.

My phone vibrates and I look at his response.

My Distraction:
Im on my way

I grin and watch as he opens his window and lowers himself to the tree so he can climb across to mine.

"Kaleb keeps tryna catch me when I sneak out so I don't know if I can keep sneaking over like this," he says as he climbs into my room.

"Just don't let him catch you," I say sitting on my bed and telling him to come here with my finger.

He sits beside me, nervously playing with his fingers, while I watch him.

He's always like this. I don't understand why. It's not like we don't do this all the time, but he's always nervous. I really don't understand him sometimes, but who cares.

Danny's POV
I sit on her bed, not really sure what to say or do, so I just mess with my fingers.

We've done this a million times. So why does it always feel wrong?
Maybe because it's empty.

I'm just a distraction for her.
But I can't be mad, I offered to be.
And somewhere along the line I became addicted to her, unable to tell her no, always thinking about her, wanting to touch her.
This isn't right.

I feel her place her fingers on my chin, turning my head to face her.

She has no hint of emotion in her eyes as she connects our lips, just like always. She climbs onto my lap as she deepens the kiss, licking my lip for permission. I separate my lips for her allowing her to explore my mouth with her tongue.

She tastes like mint.

Her hands are in my hair, pulling slightly at my roots, while my hands settle on her waist.

She pulls my head back by my hair, exposing my neck for her. She sucks and bites at my neck leaving hickeys and other marks. She wants everyone to see them so they know I was with someone, but doesn't want me to tell them who, smirking when people ask me. She's sadistic in that way, loving to watch my struggle.

I moan a bit as she sucks on my sweet spot.

She pushes me back and hold me down by pulling at my hair again. She always does it right, so it doesn't hurt it just feels good in my scalp.

I look at her wrist and see her scars. The ones that I promised that I would keep her from continuing to make. I can see the ones on her collar bone too and can't help but reach up and touch.

Her eyes flash a bit of shame just before she closes them.

That's what I distract her from.
The shame, self hate, and regret.

My hand travels to her cheek.

I want this girl, everything about her. But I can't, she wont let me have her unless its moments like this.

She snaps out of it and pins my hand down next to my head.

She kisses me roughly again before sitting up and removing her shirt revealing her sports bra.

Pulling me up by my collar, she takes my shirt and throws it with hers before pinning me back down and leaving marks on my chest.

She trails down leaving more marks along the way. She slips my sweat pants off, and I let her do what she wants.

The pleasure is great, but I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. Sneaking out, keeping secrets from my friends, letting her mess with with my head.

I wish things were simple.

*time skip brought to you by holy water and hopefully the chance that Danny reads this. You scream Bottom. I'm sorry Danny but you do. I'm not gonna add the smut scene in just yet just cuz I want you to at least read the first part*

She finishes, both of us breathing hard and covered in sweat.

She gets up from the bed and puts her clothes back on, my que to do the same.

"Hey y/n?" I ask sitting back on the edge of her bed while she lays down not facing me.

"What?" The word is blunt, almost annoyed.

"What are we?" I stare down at my feet.

I hear her shift in her bed, the mattered responding to her weight.

I turn to her, annoyance painted on her face.

"Are we friends? Fuck buddies? What?" I press on.

She rolls her eyes.

"Let's get this straight," she says harshly and pulls me to her by my collar, "we're not friends, Danny. You are what you promised to be; my distraction. Nothing more, nothing less."

I nod slightly and she lets me go.

"You can get out now," she lays back down with her back to me.

I get up and climb out the window and back to my room. I quickly go to the bathroom and wash my face before observing the marks she left on my.

"You are what you promised to be; my distraction. Nothing more, nothing less."

Why do those words hurt so much?
Why do I want her to take them back?
Why did I even have hope for something more?

"I'm an idiot," I murmur to myself as I walk to my bed and throw myself in it.

"Just an idiot."

Y/N's POV
I lay in bed alone.

Why do I want him to come back?
Why do I feel bad for what I said?
Why do I want to change those words?

I feel the tears swell up in my eyes. I let them fall then get uo and walk to my bath room and pull out my blade.

He's supposed to stop this, but why doesn't it work anymore?
Why do I feel worse when he leaves?

"You're just a fucking idiot, y/n," I say as the blade slices the skin of my thigh, "just a fucking idiot."

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