"sakusa you sure you're okay? you've been looking sad lately," Komori cheered him up after he heard his cousin broke up with the blonde
"yea.. I guess I'm okay"
he's not. He was never okay. When Atsumu broke up with him, it feels like he lost his life.
His face never looked so numb. It's like he lost all his spirit. His smile. His will to live.
Komori suspected it. But he believed Sakusa isn't the type of person who got depressed easily
he was wrong..
-: ✧ :-
"Komori! hey! are you okay?" Osamu shakes the brunette, tapping his shoulder repeatedly.
Komori spaced out for the past minutes and the twins are still trying to figure why.
"Komori? you're pale.." Atsumu stares at him, "kom-"
"atsumu.." Komori looks at him with teary eyes,
He can't say it. He musn't say it. He'll ruin the wedding. But does he have another choice..?
"he's.. dead Atsumu.." Komori trembles and looks away. He himself still can't believe and refuses to believe without any evidence, "I'm sorry.. I have to go,"
He walks out from the venue, his heart beats faster everytime he remembers that he promised Sakusa's parents that he'll take care of him. But things ended up this way.
He immediately calls a cab to drive him straight to Sakusa's apartment.
'Sakusa.. you're still there right..? right cous?'
.
Atsumu stays on his place, not knowing what to do anymore, he felt like his heart stopped beating for a second, 'Komori's lying right...? right?' He looks around, finding people staring at him,
ah.. the wedding. Is it really important now? Atsumu can't even stand straight, he keeps shaking his head in disbelief, "Omi.. he's."
Osamu tries to calm him down, telling him that it's probably just someone text-pranking Komori, "Tsumu please.."
"Samu.. he's alive right? tell me he's alive,"
"he's.. alive Tsumu. Maybe he's alive, I mean he must be alive of course.."
Atsumu shakes in fear, his mind went blank.
He slowly moves and runs outside not even caring about the wedding anymore, he searches for a cab as he cries, "please.. please someone.."
"someone help me.." He cries more,
"hey get in," Suna stops his car in front of Atsumu who's looking like a mess already, "I'll take you there,"
The blonde immediately gets inside, "Suna.. It's not true right? D-did Komori say something?" Atsumu trembles as he speaks, he can't even let out a full sentence without stuttering.
The other male stayed quiet about it. He remembered few minutes ago, Komori did text him.. but something tells him to not tell Atsumu.
it's not a very pleasant news to tell.
especially for someone like Atsumu.
"suna.. please,"
"I'm sorry. Atsumu."
-: ✧ :-
- Sakusa's apartment.
Atsumu jumps out from the car as soon as it stopped. He runs inside the building with tears in his eyes, 'he's lying.. he's lying. Everyone lied.'
He was about to enter the elevator when he sees Komori stepped out from it, looking all pale like a corpse.
'it couldn't.. be right?' The blonde stares at him,
"Komori..?" Atsumu finally lets out his tears, "komori... it's a lie right? you're joking.. and it's not funny." He smiles a bit, hoping Komori replies him with a 'yes'
'please Komori.. tell me he's out there waiting for me. alive. breathing.' Atsumu still waits for Komori's answers bit he got none.
He waits for another minute or two, but Komori just won't open his mouth. Something.. shattered him.
"ko-"
"he's dead." Komori looks up at the blonde, trying not to cry in front of him, "unbelievable right?"
"his neighbor.. found him, he hung himself.." Komori added. He watched the ambulance took his cousin away a few minutes ago, and it was not a beautiful sight.
it was a fucking nightmare that will haunt him every night.
Atsumu widens his eyes, still not believing all this, 'No. Omi..' Nothing could ever make him feel more guilty than this. It all happened too fast.
and it finally came to an end..
"turns out he lied when he said he fixed his ceiling huh..." Komori looks down, holding a piece of paper he found on Sakusa's table earlier, "and I believe.. he wrote this for you," He gives the small paper to Atsumu with a smile.
It was folded neatly.
and decorated with fox stickers. He remembers Sakusa said it reminds him of Atsumu
'Omi..' the blonde bursts into tears, his whole body is shaking as he holds onto the paper.
"I'll get going now. Please don't blame yourself. Atsumu." Komori pats his shoulder. He acts like he's fine but deep down he wishes Sakusa is still here..
with them.
Atsumu watches the brunette walks away from him. His vision got blurry as he gets a bunch of flashbacks when Sakusa walked away just like Komori did.
and one memory of Sakusa snapped him back. A memory that took place here on this apartment building.
A memory where Atsumu saw him for the last time.
'I should've talked to him after that night.. He was crying.. He broke down,' Atsumu crouches down, holding the paper tightly in his hand,
'I was the one who broke him..'
'this is all my fault.'
*̩̩̥͙ -•̩̩͙-ˏˋ⋆ ⋆ˊˎ-•̩̩͙- *̩̩̥͙
that night.
Sakusa finally got up after spent a lot of time to think. He realized that he was never meant to be happy from the first time anyway.
He looked at the little hook he added on his ceiling on the other day, "this is my choice.." he smiles and grabs a ladder to set everything up.
He cries quietly as he keeps remembering Atsumu's face and all the words he said. "atsu.. I'm so sorry,"
He stares at the rope he set up just now and smiles
"it's now or never... right?"
He finally let go of the ladder, letting the rope strangled his neck.
it hurts so much.
He couldn't breathe
his whole body turned pale
and Atsumu was the last person he thinks about.
"I love you.. Miya Atsumu" was the last thing he said before he let out his last breath.
and it all ended just like that.
YOU ARE READING
tsumuphobic | sakuatsu.
Fanfiction[COMPLETED] "you are what?" "tsumuphobic" "what is that supposed to mean?" "I'm.. afraid of Miya Atsumu" In which Sakusa Kiyoomi fell in love with Atsumu on the all Japan youth camp, but in the same time he's afraid of him. ⚠︎ suicide all characters...
