tsumuphobic | sakuatsu.

20

'they're all wearing black..' Atsumu looks around. Many people come to the funeral and the color of their clothes just keeps reminding him of Sakusa,

'he loved black..'

The blonde sits quietly. He ditched his own wedding the other day and he hasn't return to his own home since then.

It's a very shocking news even to Atsumu's family who never agreed on their relationship.

"hey.. Atsumu," Komori smiles and sits next to him, knowing out of all people, Atsumu is probably the one who's heaving the hardest time.

"oh hey.. Komori, are ya' okay..?"

"shouldn't I be the one who asked you that," he chuckles as he keeps watching people enter the funeral home.

"but yer his cousin.."

Komori turns his head to the blonde, "yeah, but it seems like he enjoyed being with you more than me and of course that works for you as well,"

Atsumu suddenly tears up at Komori's words, 'I hate this.. I hate it here..' he immediately wipes his tears,

Osamu finally shows up with his boyfriend wearing all black just like the rest. They notice Atsumu hasn't come home for days and they're worried as hell

"oh he's there," Suna points at the blonde slowly, "and he's crying.. again," he added

Osamu approaches him slowly, "Tsumu."

"Samu?"

Atsumu looks up at his twin with his swollen eyes, "oh hey.. didn't think you'd actually be here. And Suna too.."

"of course we'd be here. stupid." Osamu sits besides him, "don't cry.. Sakusa wouldn't want that."

Komori agrees to him, "yea.. I'm sure he wants you to smile,"

The blonde shakes his head and cries more, "why does it have to be him? out of all people in this world.. it gotta be him," He sniffs, "it's too sudden, I didn't.. expect any of this to happen,"

The three looks at him with a sad expression plastered on their faces. None of them expected something like this. None of them wanted it either.

it was Sakusa's choice.

Atsumu lays his head on the table as he remembers their first meeting, 'he judged my hair color.' He smiles as he remembers what Sakusa said.

He never thought he'd fall for Sakusa right after he broke his heart for the first time, 'ah.. it's too nostalgic I feel like crying again,' Atsumu bites his lips, preventing himself from crying.

after a little while, Osamu encourages him to go home and he just agreed. it's not like he has any other choice than that. But he refuses to go back with Suna's car,

"I'll just walk on my own, see ya' at home,"

.
.

Atsumu crosses the street with no intention of living, but he's refelcting on what Osamu said,

'Sakusa wouldn't want that'

Yeah. Sakusa wouldn't want Atsumu to hurt himself for what happened.

Atsumu takes out the paper he got from Komori on that day. He said it's from Sakusa, "Omi.. I can't read this.."

"I can't read it.. I don't deserve anything from ya',"

He turns his head as he gets flashbacks on when he and Sakusa crossed this street together. He keeps seeing Sakusa's face everywhere, it became a part of his life.

"hey Atsu!"

Atsumu turns his head from where the voice came from, 'omi..?' there's a little bit of hope. He can.. hope right?

"Atsumuuu" Bokuto walks towards him with a little smile, "hey sorry, I was on the way to the funeral home,"

Atsumu immediately sighs, "Bokkun.. it's that way," he points at a certain road to the funeral home,

Bokuto stares at him and gives him a small hug, "you're gonna be okay.. We're here," he smiles and gets going, giving Atsumu some little space.

Atsumu watches Bokuto walks away, 'ah... it happened again.' He looks down, trying not remember any of those bad pasts.

.
.

He finally reaches a bridge near his house, it will probably takes 3 or 4 minutes to reach home but he decided to stop.

"I.. don't want to go in there.."

he looks down at the paper on his hand and to the other side of the bridge again, 'which one.. should I choose..?'

He never thought that choosing would be this hard, 'is this what Omi felt..' he smiles and stos at the middle of the bridge, looking up to the sky.

The moon is so beautiful.

and the stars... Atsumu feels like he's staring right into Sakusa's eyes. He remembered how pretty those eyes are.

but he made it cry last time.

he regrets it.

Atsumu keeps staring into the sky as he grips on the paper, "Omi. I'm so sorry.. I'm sorry..." He bites down his lip as he unfolds the paper.

He can't stand looking at it. All the guilty feeling rushes up, making him feel dizzy, "Omi.. ya' wrote this.."

"for me..?"

The writings. It's neat.

Atsumu cries from just reading the first sentence,

"I fell for you since the day I met you,"