Spooky Action at a Distance | Frostiron

You Can't Cover Up What You've Done

Tony didn't want to open his eyes. He didn't want to move. He didn't want to face the world. Even though he hadn't opened his eyes yet, he knew that it was going to be a rough day. December sixteenth seemed to last forever, and though he'd only been awake for a few seconds, it already felt like hours. He remembered the first anniversary. That was one of the worst. At that time, he didn't have any self-worth. He was still low from everything his parents said and did, and he thought that maybe by dying he'd make them proud. That the company wouldn't go to someone who 'didn't deserve it' or 'wasn't smart enough for it'. He thought that he could finally do something right. Peggy essentially babysat him for six months after that. Then there was the fourth year. Peggy was working a mission and he was all alone, so he tried again. Rhodey found him, but he wasn't sure how. He couldn't remember the night that well. After Saudi Arabia, he stopped trying. He realised what harm he'd done to the world and he wanted to fight to fix his mistakes. It was hard. Every now and then he kept thinking that maybe, just maybe, everything would be better if he wasn't there, but then he looked at his soul mate... those thoughts went. He was staying alive to protect his love. To make the most of the time they had together. After all, it was limited.

Tony thought over the words that they hadn't discussed. The day after it they pretended as if those words hadn't been said. It had only been two days but those words stuck to him. Loki forgave him because they don't have much time together. Well, not to the god, anyway. Tony had the rest of his life, however long that would be. He wished that there was a way to go back in time so they could meet sooner. Or become a vampire. That one would be amusing, he thought. Then again, he didn't want to be anything but human.

Thinking of his soulmate, he realised that he was alone. He sat up in the bed, seeing that the room was void of any other life. He sat still for a few minutes as he tried to gain the motivation to move. He felt horrendous, and he couldn't even begin to unscramble his emotions. He felt grief, sadness, relief, but still felt numb. Did he want Loki to see him like that? At quite possibly his worst? The mechanic couldn't wait to get back to the tower so he could drink. He could drink the night away and come somewhere near close to peace with his thoughts.

He slowly got out of bed, standing for a few seconds while he gathered some sort of control over his emotions. Moving seemed like a lot of work, like it was almost too hard. He almost laughed at how familiar the feeling was. He could never seem to escape it. He walked downstairs, thinking it would be easy to call for the god, but couldn't find the strength to even whisper, let alone shout. So he searched the living room, then went to the kitchen, relieved to find the god cooking. That was new, he thought. Sure, they'd cooked together while they were in the mansion, but Loki hadn't cooked on his own before. The god turned and smiled when he saw Tony.

"Good morning!" Loki smiled. "How did you sleep?"

"Good," Tony replied, a bit quieter than he wanted to. "What're you doing up so early?"

"Woke up and couldn't get back to sleep." That wasn't technically a lie. The god woke up, shot up, then started worrying about what the mechanic would do if he got caught. The worry stopped him from sleeping, so he asked Jarvis for a recipe for pancakes, and got to work. "Now the same question to you, my love. You should be resting."

Tony looked at the god suspiciously. Loki knew, he thought. He didn't want to be waited on, he didn't want to be treated any different to how he was any other day. He wanted it to be a normal day, hence why he wanted to stay in the mansion for as long as he could. He wanted to hide.

"Woke up. Couldn't go back to sleep." Tony shrugged as he sat down on the counter. "You don't have to do this, y'know?"

"But I want to," Loki replied. "Anthony, this weekend has been perfect. You've done so much for me, let me do this for you. It's the least you deserve."