Dancing in the stars

İstemiyorum!

— Anne...

— Tamam, kızım. I'll left you alone. — Reyhan said, raising her hands in surrender. — I just wanted to see how you were.

Reyhan left the room leaving her daughter alone. Selin exhaled heavily. Why did everything have to be so difficult? All she wanted to do was sleep and wake up in another life. Maybe even not waking up.

She heard footsteps coming down the hall and approaching the bedroom door. It was probably her mother coming back to say something or, at worst, some of her family members from Sinop had arrived in Istanbul to visit her.

She was fed up with them. How long would it continue? Did they really need to see for themselves what had happened to her? Was it really necessary that she had to deal with those pitying looks and those insensitive questions? If it weren't for her parents, she would have already given them the answer they deserved.

When the knock on the door started, Selin had to restrain herself from telling the person on the other side to leave. Why didn't anyone understand that she wanted to be alone?

— Selin... — Called the person outside the room.

For a moment she forgot how to breathe. Her eyes opened and an expression of dread came over her face. She could only be delirious, her mind tired and exhausted from sleepless nights had decided to play a trick on her. This was not real. It couldn't be.

— Selin... — Insisted the voice.

Oh, that was real. Her biggest dream, and also her worst nightmare, was really happening. She didn't know what to do, how to react. She had not prepared for this moment.

— What do you do here? — Selin shouted rudely. — Didn't I say I didn't want to see you anymore?

— Selin...

— Hayır, Demir! — She interrupted. — Don't you dare try to explain yourself to me.

— Tamam. — She heard Demir sigh heavily on the other side of the door. — That's not why I came.

A shock went through Selin's body. If Demir was not there to explain about the recording, what was the reason for her sudden visit?

— Then why did you come?

— Because your dad called me. — He declared.

— And why would he do that?

— 'Cause he's worried about you.

— And what do you have to do with it?

— Selin, your father called me in the middle of the night and said that you have made excuses for not following the treatment. — The doctor told her. — Nil had already told me that you have been trying less and less. Something is bothering you, Selin, but you don't open up to them.

— And am I going to open up with you?

— Isn't that what you used to do?

— That was before.

— Bak, I know you're upset with me, ama, lütfen, Selin. I just want to help.

There was a dispute within Selin. Her mind was divided, part of her was sure it was better to send him away once and for all and avoid further suffering. But another part, perhaps much more rational than Selin would like to admit, knew that the best thing to do was to let him in. She knew that only Demir was able to understand her, if she didn't speak to him she would suffocate within her pain.