Dancing in the stars

Sonsuzluk

— Tamam, where are we going?

— Selin, I won't say.

— Ya Demir, lütfen, söyle!

— Hayır, Selin.

— Uf Demir!

— Uf Demir! — Imitated the doctor. — Sen çok tatlısın. Did I say you're cute when you get mad?

— I don't want to be cute! — She protested childishly. — I want to know where we're going!

— I already said I won't tell.

— Demir, lütfen, if you love me, tell me.

— Selin, what does one thing have to do with the other?

— Demir I will die of curiosity. Lütfen!

— Hayır, Selin. Ha-yır.

— Argh! — Selin mumbled like a child making Demir laugh out loud. — Sen... Sen çok acımasızsın. I will not forget this, Demir Erendil. You will have what is yours. Just wait.

— Ay ben çok korkuyorum. — The doctor mocked.

— I won't talk to you anymore.

— İyi. — Demir shrugged, ignoring his girlfriend's words. — So we can go on our journey smoothly.

Selin turned her face towards the window to try to hide the small smile that appeared on her lips. After the scare she had taken in the morning, seeing the trees passing by like a blur beside her was, in a way, comforting.

She couldn't wait to know where they were going to spend the next few days. There were so many questions in her head, so many things she wanted to do, that she didn't even know where to start. This would be the first time that she and Demir would be alone in each other's presence. In that place, whatever it was, they wouldn't have nurses around, nor any other doctors, let alone their parents.

She didn't want to think too much about what it meant, but the conversation they had in the morning was still hovering between her thoughts. They were making plans, they had the intention of getting married and having their own home, but still it seemed like it was missing something that would make her feel completely safe next to him.

Perhaps the biased journalists were right. She could try to camouflage herself, try to adapt, but in the end she was just another country girl who had no ability to survive in the jungle of the big city.

She should have gotten used to the idea that she would spend the rest of her life waiting for the guy who would take flowers and chocolates to her home and ask her parents to give him permission in the name of Allah to marry her. Selin did not deny that when she first heard that she could never walk again, she felt betrayed. She had done everything according to the rules, had been behaving as much as possible as ordered and in the end none of that would do, because no man would look at her again. Maybe if she had enjoyed the nights in Paris more, if she would have gone out to dance with her friends, things would be different.

But then Demir entered her heart and took root in it. What should have comforted her, in fact, increased the chaos that existed in her mind. Demir was a handsome man, who had already experienced everything in life, while she was just the woman people made fun of in newspapers and on the internet. It wouldn't work. There was no scenario in which that man would be happy beside her.

Selin sighed heavily. She was doing it again. Her thoughts would suffocate her if she continued at that pace, she needed to speak to Demir. Put out all the fears that haunted her because only then could she be able to feel truly ready to be with him.