k i w i

- 77 -

- arabella -

"I don't want to talk about." I say for the fifth time this morning, continuing to hog over the television as I aimlessly scrolled through Netflix, everything too boring for me to watch. "Its dumb."

"You're dumb." Samuel says watching me with worry eyes, not knowing what to say by the way he shifted in his feet. "Just talk to Gina. She feels bad."

"Good." I muttered, groaning and throwing the remote to a side. A headache was forming and my arm still sore from the IV that had been inserted in me, the stupid flowing line limiting my movements. "I hate this fucking shit!"

"Do you want chocolate?" Samuel asks another stupid question, Peppa—his stupid dog—in one of his hand while the other was scratching the back of his neck. "I could head down to Ikea and get you that one hazelnut that you like—"

"Just leave me alone." I muttered back tired of hearing suggestions all day, starting with the ones from Regina. "I'm gonna take a nap."

My heart ached as I saw his eyes drop and his mouth form a small frown. I felt bad for bitching at him, but I knew it was too late to say something.

He left the living room and shut the light behind him, lowly talking to Peppa as she barked. At least he had someone to talk to, unlike myself. I knew I had my baby, but at this moment I felt alone.

I then remembered Isabella and how close we were, which made me wonder where she was and what she was doing.

Taking my phone, I let Netflix play something random to have background noise and typed her name on Google.

'ISABELLA PESCHARDT seen on a date with YOUNES BENDJIMA'

'ISABELLA PESCHARDT confirms relationship with YOUNES BENDJIMA'

'Our favorite pictures from ISABELLA PESCHARDT and YOUNES BENDJIMA romantic getaway to Italy!'

Feeling everything stop, I had to sit up to fully comprehend what was going on. The more I scrolled, the more news popped up about the two and their relationship.

A wave of emotions washed over me, the anger being the one to overpower every other emotion.

I now began to understand and see right through their lies, to see through their playful texts and as to why they were seen so closely together.

Clicking on my name, I now saw how multiple articles were making a fool of me. They had my name in several headlines and even my picture along with a picture of them kissing, asking how I was handling the news.

Clicking off Safari and putting my phone away, I sit up and stare at the television with no clear thoughts. Everything was a jumble, all the memories of us making me feel disgusted.

They were hooking up right in front of me and I hadn't even noticed. It disgusted me how I even thought of making her the godmother to our children, even more when he agreed.

Younes was an asshole and with this out in the open, I finally realized how much of a loser he was. Him along with Zayn, my new problem.

I hated both of them—maybe Zayn as much as I wanted myself to hate him.

Sinking deeper into the couch, I tried not to cry as I thought about Zayn. He was perfect, an asshole, but perfect.

I love him and the way he had showed me how to love myself, but he made me doubt he loved me. I could see at times how he drifted away, how he smiled down at his phone, and how he sometimes didn't looked at me the way he did.

Maybe he didn't loved me, maybe he was putting up an act to make me feel better. It was all just a front and he still loved someone else, or no one else. It just wasn't me.

Feeling sadder than before, I got up and made my way to Samuel's room, dragging the IV pole behind me as I knocked on his door. Hearing a soft 'come in', I walk in and stand on a side of the bed, watching him sit up on the bed and reach out for his lamp.

"What's wrong?" He asks while taming his bed head, squinting his eyes over at me and examining me head to toe. "Is it the IV?"

"Can I sleep here tonight?" I ask shyly, knowing that I had an outburst just a few minutes ago. "I don't want to feel so alone."

Scooting to a side, he scooted Peppa as well and let me in, turning off the lamp once I was settled in. The room was silent, the small snores from Peppa filling the air.

Just as I was about to attempt to go to sleep, I felt him nudge my arm. "Y'know you're not alone, right?" He moved his arm and poked my belly, "You have her."

"I know." I whisper back, trying not to be as upset as I was beginning to feel. The baby had totally left my mind while I was thinking of my own heartbreaks. "It's just hard to still comprehend whats going on."

"I don't get it, but I'll try to." He says again, his words continuing to hit a spot in me. "And Zayn is trying too. I can see it." Pausing, he shows me his phone. "He's asking about you."

Closing my eyes, I look away from the screen and shake my head. I was making up my mind about him and I couldn't let a simple text change my mind.

"Can we sleep now?" I ask as gently as I could, not wanting to hit another nerve—either on him or on me. "I promise we'll talk tomorrow, you can ask me anything you want and I'll be honest."

Samuel shifted in bed again, "Hundred percent?"

"Yes, Sammy." I whisper back, finally smiling for the first time in two days and nodding at my brother. "A hundred percent. Goodnight."

—

[ a/n :
ummmm. THANK YOU!?!?

thank you thank you thank you thank you xx100!!! i appreciate every read, vote, comment, EVERYTHING! ily😘😘😘😘

i apologize for the lack of updates, but i pinky promise im gonna update more!

also, can someone update me as to what month she is at...i lost track & if she is at the month i believe she is at, i have something planned lol

anyways, thank you all once again! stay safe ]