k i w i

- 81 -

⚠️trigger warning : death⚠️

- arabella -

Zayn worried me, the way he spoke and how he sounded last night kept me up half the night wondering what was wrong with him.

Hearing Peppa bark, I got pulled out of my thoughts and continued to scroll through my emails. Starring those that needed an answer and deleting others, my mind busy with them until I hear Sammy.

"Bella, someone is here to see you!" He yelled from downstairs, his dog following with a loud bark and just adding to my headache. "Buena suerte con esta...chica."

Chica? I furrowed my eyebrows, getting off the bed as fast as I could. Who could it be that I needed luck with?

Taking my time to go down the stairs and around to his living room, I almost gave birth at the sight of the girl standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

Different emotions ran through me, anger and shock were two of the major ones I felt. Holding onto the rail tightly, I felt a bit dizzy, thinking this was some sort of trick my mind was playing.

"Oh my..." She gasped, putting a hand to her chest and gasping, her eyes widen as she watched my belly. "You've grown."

I stood quiet, trying to manage to gain control of my emotions as she continued to talk, obviously not reading my face.

"We have to talk." She says frowning, taking her coat off and beginning to fold it over the couch neatly. "I have been miserable." Her frown deepened, taking a seat on the couch and crossing her legs. "Well, I was happy at one point but...it changed."

She had changed. There was something off, but I couldn't place my finger on it.

"I've spent the last few months traveling Europe with the love of my life and..." Trailing off while looking out the window, she sighed. "And then everything went to shit. I lost myself—a piece of it." She sat quiet for a second, "I missed you."

My head felt like it was about to explode, just seeing her face brought anger up my body and made me want to yell and vomit at the same time.

"Why are you here?" I finally asked, finding my voice and surprising myself at how calm I sounded. "Why are you now showing up? And why...why are you talking to me like you didn't just got up and left me?"

Finally, my words had made her turn to me. She had a shocked look, her cheeks redden and her eyes glossy.

"I called and texted you and...and I humiliated myself asking people about you and," I continued, beginning to walk forward to her. "and I needed you."

"I needed you too." She whispered, "Arabella, I—"

"No." I cut her off, raising my voice slightly. "No! You can't just walk back into my life like this."

She sat in silence, turning her glossy stare back at the window. I took that as my sign to continue, my voice louder than before.

"What is wrong with you!? You just cut me off as if we weren't friends for the past fucking decade!" I exclaimed, wanting to throw a pillow at her and shake her out of whatever dream she was on. "I've put up through so much of your shit, and when it was your turn to be my best friend, you left me."

"I'm so miserable!" She yelled back, making me back up a bit and noticing her crying, her body shaking. Wiping a few tears with her hand, she sunk into the couch a bit. "I was pregnant and then...and then I was not. I lost my baby, Arabella!"

Standing still, I couldn't react properly, so I just watched her cry. Maybe a minute or two or a few passed, but I had finally stepped closer. Her sobbing got louder, her voice cracking. "My baby is dead."

My heart ached at the thought of a child being loss, specially when they were growing inside. Sitting besides her, I put my hand on her knee and squeezed it, feeling my throat tighten.

"It was five months old. Our little secret." She continued, chocking on a few words. "I found out the baby was dead for a while when I went for an ultrasound, and then...and then he left me."

I frowned, feeling my own throat tighten up and my eyes beginning to sting. It was hard to find any words to say, specially for this type of situation.

"He told me I was a barren and that it was my fault." In a small voice, she cried harder, leaning over to me and beginning to cling. "He left me." She says, "I gave up everything for him and he fucking left me."

The only thing I could do was rub her shoulders, part of me wanted to push her off. She had done me wrong and I hated her for not being there for me. And the other part wanted me to hug her and tell her everything was going to be okay.

"Shh." I soothe, swallowing back the knot in my throat. I was still speechless, nothing coming to mind as she lay crying. "Shhh."

We sat there for a few more minutes, having her sit up when she had calmed down. While she wiped her eyes and settled herself, I had fetched ourselves some water, watching her almost chug down the bottle.

"This things happen." I finally say, beginning to tell her words I would want someone to tell me if this thing ever happened to me. "It wasn't your fault. Okay? When your body and your mind heals, you'll have another beautiful baby with someone who will love you."

She sat quietly, probably taking in my words by the way she gnawed at her bottom lip. Another silence taking over us before she spoke up, her voice small. "There's something else I have to tell you."

Humming for her to continue, I watch her. Neither of us did anything, I just stared at her while she stared at the floor. Her lips trembled and she frowned, sniffling, "Its about the father."

"Okay?" I say unsure, not knowing why that was important—that piece of shit didn't deserved to be mentioned either. Although right now I hated her with everything in me, she had been my best friend for a decade and was at a vulnerable state right now, my hate could wait for later. "Go on..."

Something wasn't right by the way she cried again, as if that one fact was breaking her. It was breaking me, all I wanted to do was go back upstairs and sleep or eat and then sleep.

Scooting closer to her, I put a hand on her knee and gave her an encouraging smile. "What is it, Isabella?"

This was really killing me, I had more important things to worry about and waste my time on.

"Um," She gulped, placing her hand on top of mine. "it was Younes."

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