The 'L' in Light (A Death Note Fanfiction)

Chapter 7: Choice

~ Light's POV ~

***
Could it be him? Is he coming back to tell me he loves me?
***

While scolding himself for even considering it, Light turned his head slightly to see his father trudging stiffly through the door, closely followed by Matsuda and Mogi. Soichiro Yagami's once charcoal black hair had become well-salted with white. His hard face had grown gaunt and the narrow glasses that sat neatly on his nose emphasized the hollowness of his eyes, these features possibly stemming from the troubles in the investigation itself.

Kira sneered. "Only fifty-three years old? Anyone would think that he's much older."

Light felt extremely guilty for putting his father through all of this, but it couldn't be helped. Now studying each of the task force members and, although some looked more battered than others, they all stared at him with faces etched with sorrow and pity.

"Light, we heard what happened to Misa on the news," sighed Soichiro at last.

"Good afternoon to all of you, too," replied Light with an unambiguous broken smile.

"Son I- " began his father.

"Save it, dad," interrupted Light briskly. "I don't want to hear it." He rotated in his chair and pretended to continue working. After some tense silence, he heard footsteps to his right and felt someone's presence.

"Dad, it's ok, I just need some time alone to deal with all of this."

"I am not your father," replied Matsuda. Light turned and looked right into Matsuda's deep-set warm brown eyes. "I'm sorry about what happened, we're here for you. You should never deal with grief on your own."

Light's eyes began to water, perhaps not for the reasons that the detectives were expecting. As a child, whenever he would scrape a knee or scratch an elbow, he would always weep in his mother's gentle arms, in which he could find comfort. However, his father was harsher, telling him that grown men shouldn't cry, otherwise they were still a child at heart. Not wanting to show weakness, he faced the other direction and embedded his withered face into his forearms.

"Quit being so weak already. Is this the God you want people to bow to?" scoffed Kira.

"Light, my mother, your grandmother, died when I was younger than you. I had it much harder than you so don't be sad," he said coldly, to Matsuda's dismay. "Where is Ryuzaki? We have critical issues to discuss with him," asked Soichiro with furrowed brows as he noticed his absence.

~ L's POV ~

The detective stared idly around his bedroom, deep in thought.

What was that about? How could he drop a bomb like that?

Apart from Light's room, his bedroom was the only room that lacked cameras.

He couldn't allow anyone knowing the real him. His calm, stony composure was a lie; a mask. In truth, he was a large wall with an illusory strength and size, which deceived onlookers and lured the attention away from the intricate web of cracks and fissures throughout the structure's entirety.

However, this wall could crumble and burst open at any moment, releasing whatever was found beyond it.

This has never happened. And it never will.

He had created different identities to hide from his own self; something he couldn't face in the mirror. Had those countless aliases been an attempt to discover his identity? Or were they a shield to cower behind? The detective had detached from his identity and lost touch with himself.

Because, after all, who was he? L? Ryuzaki? Hideki Ryuga? Was he even human?

He certainly didn't feel like one.

Unless Light was beside him.

I need to be chained to him again. But how? Is it even safe now that his Kira probability has risen substantially?

He smirked as the perfect plan began to develop in his mind.

***

"Where is Ryuzaki? We have critical issues to discuss with him," said Soichiro.

"Here," announced L while passing through the doorway with his head a bit lower than usual. He flashed Light an accusing glance and bloodshot eyes met bloodshot eyes before he plopped down on his seat.

The tension in the room was evident, but before anyone could ask anything, Rem appeared, seemingly from thin air. "I also have some very critical issues to discuss," she said plainly. "And it has to do with me possibly taking all of your lives," she added, turning her head menacingly to look at all of them.

If a bomb had exploded there and then, no one in that room would have noticed. Everyone, except L, gasped and looked at her, shaken to the core.

"What do you mean shinigami? Speak clearly," exclaimed Soichiro.

"If you do not release me willingly from this despicable and decaying world, I'll have to kill all of you and be released anyway," she announced, her yellow, sharp eye focused primarily on Light.