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harriet hope kennedy

"Harriet Hope. Her name is very fitting to her situation and to her personality. Between both our family's it was bound to happen that one of our kids have health problems. All throughout her 9 years Hattie has fought stage II Osteosarcoma 3 times. Once when she was born, once a couple years back, and now. But you couldn't tell on the outside, she's the sweetest, happiest, most content little girl I've ever meet. A beautiful singer in the church choir. She's still filled with so much life that we hope she'll be able to live out to."

Christmas holiday's 1979 sucked to say the least.

The Kennedy's always went big for Christmas, big trees in every house, massive blow up's, bright light shows, the whole nine yards plus some.

But John Kennedy barley got up in the morning by himself.

The family tree was left to Lucy, who tried her best, but it just didn't match Jackie's breathtaking trees from previous years.

The Grinch sat in the front yard, but nothing else, the girls could only figure out how to do that one.

That's truly how Jack felt this Christmas. The Grinch.

And then the lights, oh the damn lights. Jack had taken the duty of doing the lights. Yeah, it was always "his responsibility" but truthfully he always hired some kid from down the street to do it. Nobody ever knew the difference, he always did a great job.

So on the 20th, 5 days till the actual date, he finally had time.

And let's just say one ER visit, 13 stitches, & a concussion later, the light's weren't up.

You may ask, why? Why is the Kennedy Christmas going down in shambles?

Well, as day 15 approached in Boston Children's hospital Jackie Kennedy had you the answer.

"Mommy, I wanna go home. I want daddy, please. Please mommy! Make it stop, I can't- I can't please!" Harriet Kennedy screamed as Jackie sat numb holding her daughter in her arms. Or holding her down for a better choice of words.

After years of hearing the piercing screams of one of her youngest, Jackie Kennedy really had gone numb.

It was Christmas Eve and all the two hoped for was a clearing to go home. But at 5:30 AM, it seemed like that moment was miles and miles and miles away.

Accessing Hattie's port was always a horrible wake up call. Jackie always felt like a shitty parent just letting her kid scream and scream, but after years of doing the access, she wasn't getting any lower pitched than what she was at now.

After everybody finally left the girl alone in the early morning hours, her day could start. Everyday looked a little different, but at least that kept the two on their toes on day 15.

Jackie always had light music playing in the room, so that was turned on softly as Hattie tried to sleep through treatment.

That was always the goal, for her to just sleep through.

This was the mother's chance to go and get a shower. The only time when she was alone and in "peace", or the closest thing to it.

The water sound, the way it scorched her skin. She would often just sit and sob, let the sound drown her out.

Sit until the water turned ice cold, until Hattie needed her.

At home she had to hold them all inside. It seemed like every time she went to let the tears go a kid, or her husband stood there.

This morning was just sobs, just sadness cries. Jackie hadn't even finished drying her hair & tears before they became apparent. Of course she ran to her.