Our Red and Blue Dynamic

Langa

I choked out a response as best I could, but I was caught so off-guard, I wasn't sure anything actually came out. He asked if we could talk and I nodded, not trusting my voice. He turned and started walking away. I watched him take a few steps, unsure of what to do, then he glanced back at me, and I forced myself forward. I focused entirely on just taking one step after another, keeping my mind blank so I didn't break down right then and there. I let him lead me around the park and then out past the gate to the bleachers he'd just been sitting on. He climbed up a few steps and plopped himself down. I made my way up to the same level, sitting on the very edge of the platform off to the side.

Should I have sat closer? I don't want to do the wrong thing and scare him off... I've already said too much, far more than I expected to, and most of it I didn't even mean to, nor did I actually say it. He wanted to talk to me. If he has something to say, I'll just have to let him say it and deal with what comes after, when it comes. There's already too much space between us...

He started to say something then fell silent again. With a sudden outburst he apologized for being so unsure of himself and what he wanted to talk about.

-

"So you have nothing to say to me?" I asked, heart aching. A pit formed in my stomach.

"No- I mean yes! Yes, I have lots I want to say to you I just don't know how to actually say it. Just saying I'm sorry doesn't feel like enough, but Langa," he turned his whole body to face me and bowed, "I am so sorry. Yesterday- what I said- I didn't mean it. Or, maybe I did at the time, but I definitely don't anymore!"

 Then he continued rambling on, apologizing and explaining himself as best he could, but I could barely hear him over the sound of what he just said ricocheting in my head.

So he did mean it. But, he doesn't anymore? Is that just him saying he feels bad about how he handled it? Is it possible- could he...

"I'm so sorry, I just want us to be okay again," he said.

I just want us to be okay again.

I wrapped my arms tightly around him, cutting him off.

"Of course," I said, pulling him into the tightest hug I could muster, like I was clinging to a lifeline. And in a way, I sort of was.

Reki had given me something to love since snowboarding. Skateboarding only mattered because of him.

He started laughing and I backed away, worried about crushing his lungs. Even after I let go, he kept laughing. I asked him what was funny, and he told me how stressed he had been about this not working out. I couldn't help but smile at seeing him like that, then it grew into laughter, and all of the icy tension melted away with the warmth of being connected with Reki again.

"Wanna go skate?" He asked once he had caught his breath.

"I thought you'd never ask," I said. He grabbed his board from beside him and hopped down to the ground turning around and beaming at me. My heart soared and I grinned back, following him back into the park.

"So did you two kiss and makeup?" Miya asked as we approached the group, causing my face to grow very hot, very quickly.

"No! Weirdo!" Reki shot back. 

"So you guys aren't cool?" Joe asked.

"We are," I said, smiling. I silently thanked Joe and he winked back at me.

"Then let's get skating already!" Shadow yelled, taking off into the park.

"Hell yeah!" Miya said, following his lead.