Selfless (Sequel to "Left and Right in The Dark") - A Julian Casablancas Fanfic

Chapter 12: I'm Not Really Sure You Want To Be Knowing

(A/N: Hey readers, I'm back! Happy New Year's Eve/New Year 2023! And no, I didn't wait this long to post the chapter; it actually took this long for me to write this chapter! 😭😭😭

How are your lives? Do you guys have any New Year's Resolutions or goals?

One of mine would def be to write and upload these chapters at a faster rate💀

Have fun!)

Julian's POV: Later that day

We get home in silence. After the small confrontation, there was a body of sadness that split its soul between her and me, and now, we can't even look at each other without our hearts hurting in pain. I did apologize to her in the car, but that doesn't really get rid of the level of strain between us.

We take off our coats; she gives her coat to me to hang it up.

"I need some time to myself, if you don't mind," Sophie softly speaks.

"Yeah, I think that's better for us. I'm really sorry once again."

"I know you are. It might just take a little longer than usual for me to accept your apology. I've never really seen you hit anybody before, let alone for me. That's why I'm still kind of shocked."

I purse my lips a little, not knowing how to respond. I look down and give a small nod instead.

"Actually, I'm gonna go outside again. I want to see if a little walk will help clear my head."

"Sure."

As soon as she gets her coat and leaves, I exhale a deep breath in stress and plop down on my couch.

I can't stop thinking about the fact that I lied to her just so I could have an outlet to vent my frustration. I've never lied to her before. Granted, there have been instances in the past where I've maybe let her believe something that wasn't true or instances where I have hidden the truth from her, but I've never lied.

And whenever I did this kind of thing in the past, it would happen for only one reason: to protect Sophie. I don't want her to go through anything bad. But when I lied earlier, I was selfish. I did it for myself, which, in turn, hurt her even more.

And that reminds me, she thinks that Glass is written about Juliet!

I'm quite surprised that she couldn't pick up on my message and connect the dots... but that also makes me wonder if she avoided that on purpose. She is really smart, and I basically gave her all the hints she needed with my little story behind the song. Maybe she knows, but she just wants to avoid it. With all the stuff going on now, I'm sure the last thing she would want right now is to find out that I still have feelings for her.

Sophie's POV:

I quickly walk out of the apartment building and pull my hoodie up to cover my ears. I shiver slightly as the blustery wind hits my body, and the beautifully tinted red-orange leaves sweep across the pavement.

I start to take a brisk walk, stuffing my hands into my pockets as I begin to think about where I stand with Julian.

Ever since that "accidental" kiss that happened between us a couple of nights ago, I can't stop thinking about him, and it's really tripping me up.

I'm falling for Jules.

Hard.

But I can't let him find out about this. Not after I friend-zoned him, that too, in a rather harsh manner. I probably ruined our friendship a little bit after that car incident. I need to repair that with him first; then, if he's interested in me at all, we can probably take things forward.