Hard to Love (Bucky Barnes fanfic)

Chapter 38

*** This chapter will be in Buckys POV ***

"Fuck-" Natasha closes the door swiftly but makes sure not to slam it. I hear her frantically telling Sam to not freak out followed by another door closing

Great...

"Jesus this can't be happening. Fuck fuck fuck!" Amelia curses under her breath, stepping away from me

I sigh at her departure and watch as she frantically exits the bathroom and pulls on clothes. Had we not just been rudely interrupted, I'd stand here and watch her, admiring every inch she has to offer. But now I have to go on a damn mission with Wilson which I already wasn't looking forward to. And I'll have to explain this. My jaw clenches at just the thought of it all

I throw on my combat pants once more before following Amelia to her room and grabbing a spare shirt of mine from her bottom dresser drawer. A while back she cleared it out for me to keep some extra clothes in her room for when I stay the night and need fresh ones in the morning. The small action still makes my heart swell

"What do you want me to tell him?" I ask as I slip on a shirt since my chest piece was already on the quinjet. Amelia runs an anxious hand through her hair, looking completely flustered

If I knew she wasn't having a mild panic attack, I'd tease her about how pink her cheeks were or how she fumbled over words to say. I especially love when she gets all flustered because of me. Once Amelia regains herself though she says it feeds my ego which is already 'too inflated'

"I guess the truth Buck. There's no way around trying to cover up what he just saw." She meets my gaze and that's when I see it

"Hey," I step closer to her and sense her breathing slow as she looked up at me. "One less person to look out for, right?" I ask, grabbing her hand. She lets out a long exhale, letting her shoulders drop in mild relaxation

We have this affect on one another. Like when I wake from a nightmare, all Amelia has to do is speak my name, grab my hand and suddenly I'm not reliving the horrors and back in bed with her by my side. Just a simple touch, a reminder, and we both crawl out of whatever dark hole we plummeted into. We were each other's support person. I've never had this kind of affect from someone before, not even Steve

After a moment, she nods slowly. "Yeah... yeah one less person. This could be a good thing." She pauses, absentmindedly squeezing my hand in pulses, "or a really bad thing." Her eyes flood with worry again

"You really think Sam would rat you out like that?" I ask, raising a brow at her. She lets out an anxious huff

"Maybe! I just- I-"

"Need to take a deep breath." I halt her hand from its increased pace and tilt my head towards hers knowingly. After a brief moment, she sighs again

"Just- don't kill him when he asks questions please, okay?" My lips curl into a small smile

"No promises doll." She breathes out a slightly less anxious chuckle before nodding again

"Okay. Okay you should probably go. Nat can only hold him off for so long." Amelia squeezes my hand. I sigh with a curt nod, glaring towards the door before back down at her

"I love you."

"I love you more." She stands on her tip toes as I lean down to meet her halfway, giving one another a lingering kiss

"Doubtful." I give her a wink when she pulls away. Amelia rolls her eyes as I step away and start to exit the room. "I'll message you when I can." I grab the doorknob

"Be careful and come back to me, yeah?" She wraps her arms around herself, still clearly anxious about Sam knowing

I halt at the door and turn just enough to look back at her. "I'll always come back to you babydoll." Her face lights up at my words and I can see her cheeks flush pink at our recent parting statement