Hard to Love (Bucky Barnes fanfic)

Chapter 86

📸 cred: Nix Akimbo

Ugh

It's like my body was just waiting for my brain to know I'm pregnant before hitting me symptoms

Two days after taking the tests, we decided to do two more tests just to make sure it wasn't a false positive, I got morning sickness and was more fatigued than usual

My most recent incident was while I was spreading jelly onto my toast. Scared the hell out of Bucky when I dropped the butterknife and bolted for the nearest bathroom

And god bless this man. He came in behind me and gathered my messy hair out from my face, using his own ponytail to tie it back for me

I groan into the toilet bowl, "Go- don't look at me-" I grumble

But Bucky stays in the room, rustling something behind me before sitting down with me between his thighs. His metal hand rubs soft circles up and down my back while his other presses a cool wet rag to my forehead

"Oooohhh that's nice." I mumble out in pleasure, leaning into his hand

"Told ya I'd be with you every step of the way doll." Bucky speaks against my shoulder

I breathe out a chuckle, "you sure you wanna do that? It's gonna be gross."

Bucky pats around my face with the rag, "every step." He enunciates

I grab the rag from him a moment later and swipe at my mouth, the nausea finally easing up. I toss the rag into the sink when I finish, closing the toilet lid and flushing my bile before leaning back against Buckys chest. His hands now rest on the insides of my knees, rubbing his thumb along my skin

You already have a great dad, I think towards my stomach where our little human is growing

We sit in silence while I take slow deep breathes, making sure I'm actually done with this wave of nausea and it's not a false alarm. I gently hold my stomach while Bucky now glides his hands up and down my thighs

"So I was thinking of inviting a few people over for dinner this weekend to tell them the news." Bucky speaks up after another minute of silence

He's so excited to tell the team. And I'd love to tell Nat and Wanda. I'm surprised I haven't yet honestly

"We gotta wait Buck," I state, looking over my shoulder at him

He looks a bit confused, eyebrow raising with the smallest of head tilts. "Why? It's not like this was a secret plan of ours."

I turn a bit to look at him more properly, still holding my stomach. "Because the first trimester is the most dangerous. That's when most miscarriages occur." I answer, having remembered what I read in one of those 'What to Expect when Expecting' books I borrowed from a coworker

"I know you're chomping at the bit to tell Steve," I continue, "but I don't want to give them the news just for them to be crushed if something does end up happening." My tone turns a bit somber at the thought, a bitter truth that can't be stopped

Bucky let's out a long breath but nods, understanding we're not exempt from the odds. I grab his hand and give it a reassuring squeeze before standing. Bucky rinses out the rag while I flush the toilet and straighten myself out

He continued to be there for me every time morning sickness struck after that. Swapping out my coffees in the morning for a gentle green tea to give me a more natural caffeine dose. I started taking daily vitamins, even downloaded an app to check my process

My face started to break out from all the extra hormones pumping through me which wasn't fun. But I'd take a batch of pimples over the constipation any day