Clintasha: Dancing after death

Chapter 1

Hi everyone,

This is the first fanfiction I've ever written so please don't be too critical if it's full of mistakes.

Here's the first chapter, enjoy

"It's ok, Clint. Let me go."

"No, no, no, please, no"

Clint is holding Natasha's hand and looking at her peaceful face. They are both hanging there, on Vormir, above an abyss and Clint knows that he can't allow Nat jump. "No, i won't let you go. I will never let you go." He hears his own voice, but it is kinda coming from everywhere and Clint isn't sure if he is the one who really talks. "No, Nat. I'll jump. Let me jump"

His friend Natasha looks at him and smiles softly. For a split second Clint thinks he sees a tear running down her blushed cheek.

"It's ok, Clint. You won't save me anyway" she says and suddenly Barton notices a shade of reproach in her eyes. "You didn't for all those months. I can't believe you still let me be dead..."

Clint frowns. "What?" But that is the only thing he is managed to say. Nat jumps. "Nooooo!!" Barton feels his eyes are full of hot tears and he closes them quickly. When he looks again, he sees Natasha's body lying on the bottom of the dark abyss. She is dead. "NOOO!" Clint screams again. And then he wakes up.

He is lying in the bed in his own small, dark flat. Since he got divorced Laura and lost his home in the countryside, he has to rent this old hovel. He can barely see Lila, Nathaniel and Cooper, usually once or twice a month. Living there, without anyone and spending days on missing his children and wife is making him so depressed and lonely. And to let him sink even deeper he has those nightmares. Every night he sees his best friend's death. And it is the worst of all. Clint sits on the bed and runs his hands over the face.

"It should've been me, Nat" he whispers. "It fuckin' should."

His breath is shallow and wheezy and Barton can feel how blood's throbbing in his veins. He takes some sedative pills. Lately he needs them increasingly. He desperately wants to talk to someone. After a while Barton gets dressed and starts to pack his bags. He's going to visit a friend.

I hope you liked this chapter, I will try to write the next one tomorrow.

See you!