Secrets Only Trouble Knows - George Weasley

51 - Please Understand

When Jasper and I made it back to the castle, we split up for the rest of the day and decided to largely do things on our own. He'd gone to hangout with Harry who wasn't able to go to Hogsmeade either while I mainly kept to myself in my dorm.

I spent the whole day in there trying to plan out what I was going to say to George and theorizing all of the different ways the conversation would go. I knew it would be far from fun. I knew it would be sad and it would hurt the both of us, but it truly felt like it was the only option right now. I was just not in the right headspace to be in any kind of relationship at this point in time and it wouldn't be fair to George to have him stick with me when I was like that.

So obviously this was going to be an extremely difficult conversation, but I was determined to have it. I just only hoped he'd maybe be able to see it all from my perspective, that he'd agree with me in thinking that this was best and we would be able to part peacefully.

I really hoped he wouldn't despise me afterwards, wouldn't be so angry with me that the bond he and I had would never recover again in the future. Because the last thing I wanted was for him to think I'd stopped caring about him or no longer had feelings for him. That was just so far from the truth. I was pretty sure I was always going to be attached to him. And had none of this stuff with my dad happened, I would have gladly spent my time with him this year, growing closer to him and just seeing where life takes us together as an actual couple.

So clearly I didn't desire letting George go at all. It was just that I mentally could not handle being in anything intimate with anyone right now. And I just really hoped that he would see that and would understand that I wasn't purposefully trying to hurt him with this. Rather, I was trying to help him. I was doing it because I cared for him and his sanity and wanted him to be happy. And sticking with me when I was like this and couldn't give him a proper relationship wouldn't allow for that.

—

Eventually the afternoon flew by and it was now time for the Feast. When I entered it, I saw the Great Hall had been decorated with hundreds and hundreds of candle-filled pumpkins, fluttering live bats, and hanging orange streamers.

Though I still didn't have much of an appetite, I had about half a plate of food which was rather impressive for me recently, and what I managed to eat was quite good. Throughout dinner, I listened to my friends sitting around me as they talked about their day at Hogsmeade, but I couldn't help but be a little out of the conversation like I always was. I was still thinking about George and how I was going to try and talk to him after this was all over.

Eventually the Feast ended with entertainment provided by the ghosts and once Dumbledore dismissed us, I followed after the rest of the Gryffindors along the usual path to Gryffindor Tower. However, when we reached the corridor that ended with the portrait of the Fat Lady, we found it jammed with students.

"Why isn't anyone going in?" Ron asked from close by.

"Let me through, please," came Percy's voice behind me as he weaved his way through the crowd with importance. "What's the holdup here? You can't all have forgotten the password— excuse me, I'm Head Boy—"

And then a silence fell over the crowd, starting with the front until it spread over the remainder of us students towards the back.

"Somebody get Professor Dumbledore. Quick." Percy then announced sharply.

Everyone turned their heads curiously, whispering with their friends about what was happening, until Dumbledore arrived. As all of the Gryffindors squeezed together to clear a path for him, he quickly swept toward the portrait. Being nosy, my friends and I tried to push our way closer to the front behind him to see what was going on.