Secrets Only Trouble Knows - George Weasley

53 - It's Complicated

Madam Pomfrey insisted on keeping Harry, Jasper, and I in the hospital wing for the rest of the weekend. We each had a stream of visitors, all intent on cheering us up in some form or another— many people gifted us earwiggy flowers, cards, and plenty of food and candy.

On Sunday the Gryffindor Quidditch team came into visit, and this time Oliver joined them (someone had dragged him out of the showers Fred kept saying he was "trying to drown himself" in). He told Harry in a hollow sort of voice that he didn't blame him in the slightest, but I think how he felt on the inside might've been a different story. Cedric stopped by too, telling his Seeker counterpart that he was sorry about what happened and insisted he really did try to get a rematch for them. Harry said it was fine.

Hermione, Ron, and Adrian left our bedsides only at night. They were good at keeping those of us still recovering occupied throughout the day, but at night when they had gone and I was up unable to fall asleep, I kind of... spiraled, per say. I just couldn't seem to stop thinking.

Weird and confusing things kept happening to me more and more these days and everything that went down at the Quidditch match just proved that to me. I didn't know why, but right now I oddly seemed to have more issues than I should at my age. Let's discuss all of the weird problems I had that wracked my brain at night, shall we?

First and foremost: what did the dementors have against me? Being interested in the Dark Arts, I was vaguely aware of them before this year and knew that they drained people of their happiness, but why did they seem to target Harry, Jasper, and I? Why did they affect the three of us more than anyone else at the school? Other people didn't collapse or pass our anytime they got near one, and it was rather humiliating for the boys and I that we did. I just didn't understand what made us different from everyone else.

Secondly: why was I being stalked by creepy dogs? Or wolves— honestly, I didn't know what to call them. They were definitely apart of that family, but I'd only seen them for seconds at a time and therefore couldn't claim they were one or the other. But that didn't really matter.

All that was important was that the Quidditch match had been the second time I'd witnessed them, the first being in the Forbidden Forest, and I just didn't get why. Were there even dogs of some kind that happened to live full-time in the Forbidden Forest? Was I actually seeing them, or was it all inside my head? If they did happen to be real, then why did they seem to be watching me? And if they weren't real, why was I hallucinating them?

And finally, last but absolutely not least, I questioned my sanity any and every time I thought about how I possessed the ability to somehow transfer my mind to another place in real time. I mean, seriously, what the fuck was that?! And why, to this day, could I still not seem to find any information on that? I'd been dealing with this strange power at least consciously for the past year now, and I'd quite honestly made no progress on it at all.

Since first discovering it, I've done so much research and have even read the clairvoyance book from the library back to back, and still I can't seem to find anything out about it. I didn't understand it in the slightest. How could I do what I could in the first place? What triggered my episodes, if anything? Could I train myself to be able to do them at will? Was I the only one with this ability? Did anyone else in the Wizarding World know about this kind of power?

I wanted to talk about it desperately with someone who might actually know something about it, not just my friends, but I didn't know who I could really trust with this information. I didn't know who would be understanding about it and interested in helping me and who would take it to the next level, going so far as to freak out or consider me delusional.