It's complicated

Chapter 36

Warning: this chapter may give you major feels.

Thanks for 6k💕

-Grace's POV-

Ashton told me that the doctor cleared him to start performing again, so tonight is my last performance with them. I'm gonna miss the rush of playing the drums up there, but now I can go back to Sydney for Gabby's funeral.

I finish with my hair and makeup and grab my guitar. By now, I don't even feel nervous, it's more like an anxiety for the excitement that is about to come.

"Hi, I'm Grace," I tell the crowd, "Now, I know you all want 5 Seconds of Summer, but you're gonna have to deal with me for a little bit." I give a small laugh and the crowd lets out a roar.

I start playing the music to my first song. I come into sing and at first, I do fine. Then, I remember the making of this song. I was sitting in my bedroom strumming along while Gabby, Emilee, and Makayla helped me with the lyrics. Now, Gabby is dead and EmiLee hates me.

"I- I'm sorry," I stop playing and step away from the mic. A tear rolls down my cheek and the crowd goes from crazy to silent. I look over and the boys look really worried, especially Calum

I see that he says something to Luke and he nods. Then, Calum starts walking on stage. I shake my head at him, and he raises a hand. He gets in view of the crowd and thousands of girls start screaming and crying. He gets to me and whispers into my ear, "You're fine, I promise. Nothing can hurt you, you can get through it. I'm gonna be right here until you tell me to leave." He addresses the crowd, "Who thinks Grace can do this?" The crowd yells in response and I laugh.

"Thank you," I tell him and he nods. I give him a quick kiss on the cheek, getting an immediate reaction from the crowd, "Okay, let's try this again." I start playing again, and I come in stronger than before. Calum is still standing right next to me, smiling like an idiot. And, in that instance, that one boy made me more nervous and made more butterflies appear in my stomach than anyone could ever do.

I finish my set, Calum stayed out there the whole time, and rush to the assistants to fix my hair and make up; I've started to feel a little better about being in public with make up on. I grab my drumsticks from my bag and join the boys. They are all wearing beanies and I laugh, "Don't you think it's gonna be a little hot out there for beanies?"

"Well, you better hope not because you're getting one too." Mikey tells me and I scrunch my eyebrows.

"We are doing it as a remembrance of Gabby, since it's your last show with us." Ashton tells me with tears in his eyes. Beanies were Gabby's favorite accessory; she wore them everywhere. Tears fill my eyes, but then I notice he said it's my last show. I get to go to Gabby's funeral. Then, "Well, your last show performing as 5 Seconds of Summer's drummer."

My heart drops, "Oh." Luke hands me a beanie and I put it on.

Josh comes up to us, "Ready?" We nod and I wipe my eyes. I put on my brave face and go sit down behind Ashton's drumset.

"Hi, I'm Luke."

"Michael."

"Calum."

"Ashton."

"And, I'm Grace. This is my last show where I'll be performing with the boys, so I'm gonna make it something no one will ever forget." I say and the crowd screams.

"We are 5 Seconds of Summer." Luke says and we start to play. It feels just the same as the first time I came out here, just less nerves. I let my muscles take over my body and don't even think about what I'm doing. It really and truly is my best performance.

About halfway through the show, Luke calls someone up to the stage to sing Over and Over with them. (A/n: I know they got rid of this song, but I freaking love it so...) They finish the song and the crowd cheers.

"Wow, that was amazing! What's your name?" Luke asks the girl. She made it through the song without crying, but now her cheeks are stained with her tears.

"Catherine." She manages to hiccup out.

"Well, that was beautiful, Catherine." All four boys hugged her and she went back into the audience, her friends and her screaming to each other.

After it's over, Luke, Michael, and Ashton go to the after party, but Calum comes home with me. We walk back, taking advantage of the beautiful night and avoiding crazy fans chasing the limo. After sneaking out the back, Calum and I walk hand and hand back to where the bus is parked. We aren't necessarily dating again, but we aren't just friends either.

"So, all alone. What do you want to do?" Calum asks as we enter the bus.

"How about we make it just like old times," I suggest and Calum raises his eyebrows at me as if to say, how so? I laugh, "Not like that! Just watching a movie and enjoying each other's company."

Calum nods and walks over to grab the xbox controller. He pulls up Netflix and I pick out a movie. He lays down on his side on the couch and I follow suit. I can tell, he's shocked and I laugh, "It's okay, Calum." He blushes and wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me in closer, tightening me against his body.

We lay there for a little bit, only half paying attention to the movie, until I turn to my other side, leaving only an inch or two of space between our faces, and shocking Calum. I smile and he returns it, "This is nice, I miss it,"

"Yeah," Calum tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, "Me too."

I stare into his eyes until I can't take it anymore. I place a slow kiss on his lips and am overwhelmed by his amazing taste. I close my eyes and continue with this kiss, the one that could change anything and everything, it getting deeper the longer it occurs. I clasp my hands behind his neck, pulling him in closer. He slowly moves his finger up and down my side, tracing my curves and giving me goosebumps.

Then, he pulls away from my mouth and leaves a trail of kisses down the side of my neck, stopping at my collarbone and going back up, to meet my lips again. He starts to rock his hips against mine, but I stop him. He mumbles a quick apology against my lips, too distracted to realize what he'd done, and continues to kiss me. This goes on for a few more minutes before I pull away and look into his eyes, "I'm sorry."

"For what?," he scrunches his eyebrows at me, "You know, you keep apologizing for things you haven't even done."

I laugh, "I just, I didn't know if you were ready for that."

He places another lock of hair behind my ear, "Grace, I've been ready for that since the day I f***ed up." I nod and place my head on his chest. He wraps both of his arms around me and pulls me in tight. The slow, steady movement of his chest putting me to sleep, and what I was afraid of, is happening. I'm falling for him again.
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I wrote this while listening to Beside You and I would like to point out, major feels. Now, while editing, I was listening/watching fetus them perform Teenage Dirtbag and now one of Luke covering Lego House and, even though I've seen it a million times, I don't know what to do with the mess I call myself. So, fair warning, do not listen to any 5SOS songs while reading this fanfiction or you may need an inhaler. My heart might be split into two now.

I tried to make it a little longer. Normally, I would've cut it off after the concert, but I feel like that's not fair to you guys. Love you!