Owen and Knox

40. I'm sorry

Knox POV

While sitting on the toilet waiting for the bath to fill, my tears didn't stop, they soaked Owen's t-shirt going back on my face. The feeling of the wetness stuck to my face but I didn't care, I just wanted him to hold me and never let go. This feeling of weakness is something I would never wish upon anyone. Most of all it feels like if Owen found out he'd leave. The thought of Owen letting me go made me cry even more and tighten my fists on the soft material.

"Ready baby?" Owen whispered caringly, like if he spoke louder he'd scare me. I didn't mean to flinch at Xavier, but not after what happened. It was like my mind was working with my body, whoever touches me will hurt me. Owen has always been my go to person to cuddle, to talk, anything I needed I could always rely on this one person... my Owen. But this is something I want, no, I need to keep hidden. If Owen ever found out, I just can't even comprehend what would happen to me if Owen left me.

I shook my head as an answer, not wanting him to see the... cause of what Callum did. If I could bath on my own I could hide my boxers or throw them away so Owen doesn't see. Hopefully I can brush this off in the morning and say I was just drunk and didn't know what I was doing. No one can know, I'll take this to the grave. I just hope Callum doesn't say anything in school.

"Come on Knox. Let's get you undressed and in the bath." Owen sighed and stood up taking me with him. As soon as his hands touched my jeans, I screamed and pushed him away. Sob after sob echoed in his bathroom as I curled up in a ball in the corner. My face firmly buried in my legs trying to get away from anyone touching me.

"Knox? D-do you want me to get my mum? Dad? Even Tris?" He asked. I shook my head, whimpering. I can't even have my own boyfriend touch me because of that bastard. He made me scared, he made me scared of my own boyfriend, Xavier, a man I've grown up with and trust with my life. Now I can't stand the thought of anyone touching me.

"I-I w-want t-to b-be a-a-alone." I stuttered out shakily.

"I'm not leaving you." Owen cautiously kneeled in front of me. "We're in this together, weather you like it or not. I'll help you with whatever has made you like this. I want, I need to help you Knox because you're scaring me like this. You don't have to tell me yet, but I'm not leaving you alone so I know you're ok."

Another sob broke through my lips as I flung myself around him. My hands once again fisting his t-shirt with my face buried in the crook of his neck.

"Can I undress you? It'll be quick then you can be covered with the bubbles." He asked gently. Hesitantly I nodded, still not wanting to be touched or seen. But I know Owen won't ask questions if I'm not ready to talk.

Slowly, he lifted my t-shirt over my head. I looked away knowing he could see the hickeys he made. Owen didn't say anything, but I could feel him shaking as he unbuttoned my jeans. I held on to his shoulders as he pulled my jeans down. Next was my boxers, I knew what was coming making me silently cry.

Owen sniffled making me look down to see him staring at the blood, the evidence of what happened.

"Knox, you don't have to answer me but I want you to squeeze my left shoulder for no and the right for yes." He told me. I lightly squeezed his right shoulder telling him it was ok.

"Did Callum touch you?" He asked, a small squeeze to his right shoulder.

"Were you drunk?" A squeeze to his left.

"Did you want it?" He questioned, his voice shaking. I squeezed his left shoulder.

"Did he r-," Owen started. I knew what he meant, I squeezed his right shoulder.

"I-I'm s-so sorry." I whispered, my bottom lip quivering. My eyes looking everywhere but him.

All of a sudden, my head was pulled to a chest with arms wrapped firmly around me. More sobs came from my mouth, wetting his shirt even more.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there. I should have gone, I should have told you to stay." Owen cried.

"N-not y-y-your f-fault." I managed to get out. He sniffled and wiped his eyes pulling me from his chest. He took off my boxers and let me get into the bath. I winced at the pain on my lower region, the hot water stinging a little.

Owen quickly undressed and slid in the bath behind me. Even with his small body, he wanted to comfort me like I would with him, holding me to his chest, sitting behind me in the bath where I'd usually sit. But at this moment, I don't care. I just want to be held by Owen.

"I love you so much." Owen whispered kissing my shoulder lightly, just one small kiss before leaving his lips on my skin. "I'm so sorry."

"I l-love y-you." I whispered out, ignoring all the thoughts to get away from him. That he'll hurt me like HE did. I know Owen would never hurt me, not on purpose or on accident, he'd never do that. But my mind is still there, his hands on my body, his lips on my skin. The sick feeling had me getting out of the bath and hunching over the toilet. The tingles of his hands still tracing my skin will never leave, no matter how much I try to scrub away the feeling, his hands will still roam my body.

"It's ok bub. I'm here." Owen kneeled next to me rubbing my back.

How did I get so lucky to have him as a friend,

Better yet a boyfriend.