my butterfly // heewon

Chapter 18

.tw: sh.

It was a dark night but you could still see because it was a full moon and the only thing you could hear was thunder and rain falling on the ground and windows.

Jungwon and Heeseung were cuddled up under the blanket. Heeseung was peacefully sleeping with the thought of Jungwon in his arms. Jungwon was also peacefully sleeping in Heeseung's embrace that was keeping him warm but suddenly his peaceful sleep got interrupted.

Something started appearing in his dream or rather someone.

It was some voice.

You really think he loves you?

Why would he love you?

You are too pathetic for him.

You are worthless person who isn't worth his love.

Once he gets to know you he will leave you like everyone else did.

And you will be left alone.

Why don't you harm yourself anymore? You really think his love will keep you away from harming?

Go fucking die.

That were the words Jungwon was hearing in his sleep.

He started sweating and breathing heavily. Then suddenly he woke up trying to catch his breath.

He held his chest as tears started going down his cheek. He then quickly got up.

Heeseung: What is wrong?

Heeseung wasn't still fully awake. He noticed that Jungwon wasn't anymore in his hands so that's why he woke up. He didn't even notice that Jungwon was crying he only noticed that Jungwon got up.

Jungwon just ignored him and he went in the bathroom.

Heeseung was still very tired and he didn't think much about Jungwon ignoring him because he thought he just needed to use a bathroom so he continued to sleep.

Jungwon quickly locked the door and dropped to the floor.

He hugged his knees and started crying. He couldn't get those words out of his mind.

Go harm yourself. You don't deserve to be happy.

As those words kept repeating in his mind he quickly stood up and went to the nearest drawer. He opened it and picked up the one and only razor blade that was in that drawer.

He sat down on the floor. Tears were streaming down his face as he started cutting himself.

You are worthless.

First cut.

Nobody loves you.

Another cut.

The world would be a better place if you weren't born.

Another cut.

You don't deserve to be happy.

Another cut.

Even your parents didn't love you.

Another cut.

At this point Jungwon was sobbing really loud. He didn't want to but he couldn't help it. The pain was too strong.

As his sobs got louder and louder Heeseung heard it.

He was at first confused and he thought he was dreaming but as sobs were really loud he woke up.

He was sleepy so he didn't even remember Jungwon left the bed.