For Real This Time

Chapter Five

The whole house fell silent as Blaine stood at the bar in Sebastian's house alone for a long time in shock at what he had just witnessed. It was like Sebastian became a completely different person. He went from his regular self, joking about wine and trashing his parents' house to confiding in Blaine about Hunter to confessing he didn't want to be Blaine's rebound, whatever that meant. He honestly couldn't figure out why or what it meant for their relationship. Sebastian always wanted to hook up with him; it's not like that was a secret. He even tried to get Blaine to cheat on his boyfriend. So now that Blaine was coming onto him stronger than ever, why didn't he want it anymore? Maybe Sebastian wasn't attracted to Blaine at all anymore. But that wouldn't make sense. He still made tons of flirty jokes. Maybe he was drunk and didn't know what he was saying. No, he wasn't. Not even a blacked-out Sebastian would do something like that.

When Blaine finally broke from his frozen silence, he contemplated looking for Sebastian just to make sure he was okay. Not only was he clearly going through something emotionally, but he also had way too much to drink in the span of five minutes. But he remembered Sebastian's words vividly. Don't follow me. So he tried not to. He returned to the music room and sat at the piano, wondering if playing something would bring Sebastian back.

As much as he wanted to go looking for Sebastian despite his wishes, Blaine wasn't sure he could even navigate the place to find where he was. The house was huge, and Blaine had seen less than half of it. He didn't know what Sebastian's room looked like or if that would even be where Sebastian retreated to. For a moment, Blaine gave up hope on finding Sebastian and started to play the first notes to "She Will Be Loved", hoping Sebastian was close enough to hear. But Blaine couldn't quite get it right and he didn't feel like focusing on a song.

Part of him really wanted to text Kurt, and that hurt, too. He felt sick to his stomach. Here he was, on the verge of throwing himself at this guy he's been attracted to for years when he wasn't even close to over his ex-boyfriend. He was making a guy he genuinely liked feel like a rebound because after all, that's exactly what he was, even if Blaine wouldn't admit it. There was an intrusive lump rising in his throat and for a moment, he thought he was about to cry. Then he realized that lump was vomit and he desperately needed to find a bathroom. He held his hand over his mouth while he searched nearby rooms for a bathroom. Luckily, he found one just in time and threw up in the nearest toilet. He flushed it and then sunk down on the floor, tears filling up his eyes.

Of course. He had one good thing after the breakup, and he screwed it up. He made Sebastian feel like he didn't care when in reality, Blaine cared about him more than he could ever say, maybe even too much. Why couldn't he just resist the temptation and be Sebastian's friend? Sebastian needed a friend and so did Blaine, so why did it have to be so complicated? If he really thought about it, Blaine knew this was Sebastian's fault. He was the one constantly flirting with him, seeming interested, making Blaine fall for his stupid sex innuendos and winks. If Sebastian was literally anyone else, this wouldn't be a problem. But he wasn't. And maybe that was the point.

Blaine still didn't know if the vomit was from the alcohol or his conversation with Sebastian, but the sickness did serve as a wakeup call reminding Blaine that he needed to find his friend...or whatever Sebastian was to him. Sebastian had way more to drink than he did and was in no condition to take care of himself. He started roaming around the house, trying to figure out a starting point for looking for him. He figured he would try upstairs since most of the bedrooms were up there and that was pretty much Blaine's only idea.

He opened seven different doors before he found Sebastian's room. It was a nice size and clearly decorated by a professional, but it didn't look like something Sebastian would have picked out himself. He only knew it was his room because of the Dalton blazer hanging on the closet door. Unfortunately, Sebastian was nowhere to be seen. Blaine walked into the room and looked around, hoping at the very least he'd find some sign of life. He checked Sebastian's huge walk-in closet, but he wasn't in there, either. Then he heard the sound of running water and turned around to find the door to a bathroom. He took a deep breath and then knocked. Before he had a moment to process it, he started to panic, realizing he didn't plan out what to say.