"Carpe Diem... that's seize the day." DEAD POETS SOCIETY PREFERENCES/IMAGINES

"I THINK I'M FALLING IN LOVE, AND I'M SCARED" :CHARLIE DALTON IMAGINE:

For the lovely 111chloea111   Thank you for requesting

You woke up earlier than usual. Well you barely slept anyways so I suppose you never really fell asleep if you were awake all night. You sat up in bed, rubbing your eyes, and looked out your window. It was muggy, heavy, and foggy outside. A thick cloud hung over Welton. It looked like a scene in a fantasy novel. Typically, muggy days weren't amazing to your. But recently, dark and saddening days just felt right. 

You had been feeling weird that last few days. The guys kept asking you if you were okay and if you needed to talk about anything. You'd would tell them no and thank them. All you wanted to do was tell them what you were feeling, and you wanted to tell them you had just been feeling off, but you didn't know how to explain how you felt. You weren't sad. You weren't angry. It wasn't depression. It was more... left out, like you were missing something. It wasn't them that was making you feel this way. It was him. It was Charlie. 

You got out of bed and walked to get ready for class that day. You began brushing your teeth, staring at your tired eyes in the mirror, wondering why you felt the way you did. You truly felt in your heart it was because of Charlie but that same heart was telling you not to blame him for how you were feeling. But who else was to blame?

He had been avoiding you the last few weeks- no, months. Charlie was your best friend and fellow hell raiser at Welton, always down to pull a prank, always down to cause a little bit of mischief. Because of that special bond, you could also be vulnerable and open with one another. He asked you questions he was scared to asked the rest of the Dead Poets because he was supposed to be the cool street smart one of the gang. He freaked out about his parents being overbearing to you. He also read his poetry to you, his serious poetry, the one that truly showed his sensitive and almost genuine side. You complained about everything you could to him. You only cried in front of him. You told him about all your insecurities but also all of your obsessions and hobbies. He was always interested, asking you questions, sometimes asking if you could do one of your hobbies together. Like he frequently asks you to do his hair, his makeup, or paint his nails. You didn't have a sister or many good girl friends to do that with, so it was nice to do it with him. He would ask you to review his poetry and give feedback on it. You guys had a joint life and were the bestest of friends, best friend 'goals' if you will. But now... it was different...

Any time you brought up your hobbies or what makes you happy, he wouldn't even pretend to be excited. He'd just say 'yeah' or 'oh'. That would literally CRUSH your soul. He'd give you no appreciation, barely any attention, and absolutely no love. You'd feel dumb, small, almost 'less than' Charlie. You'd just have to make an excuse so you could leave him and get away from the awkward situation. When you weren't avoiding him or trying to get him to be his normal self, you'd ask him if he wanted his nails or hair done because you were bored. He'd say 'no, go away, geez' and almost be mean and aggressive towards you. Sometimes you cried over how he treated you.

But the kicker was, he treated you like this in private. In front of the boys, he was himself, joking and laughing and insulting everyone in the friendliest way. In a certain way, it made you happy to see he was being normal. In another way, it made you sad. Why did he treat you so differently? Why wasn't he your best friend anymore? Why wasn't he your good ol' Charlie anymore? 

As you over thought it, washing your face, tears started blurring your eyes. You blinked them away and ran some cold water over your face, then grabbing your face towel and drying your face off. As you pulled the towel from your sad eyes, you saw Meeks and Neil walking in the bathroom, whispering and joking around through their also tired state. They saw you and smiled, saying good morning. Until they noticed your red eyes and your shaking hands. Like I once stated, you only ever cried in front of Charlie. None of the other boys had seen you so shaken up and lost in your own depressive river of emotion. Meeks pulled the towel from your hands and folded it nicely, putting it on the windowsill. Neil put his arms around you, pulling you into his side, gently playing with your hair.